Painted On My Heart

“I don’t mean to,” he finally responded, his eyes lifting to scan Arik’s handsome face. These highs and lows of his life were becoming too much to deal with. He was acting unstable with all these minute-by-minute mood swings.

“Have you been to the Persian Gulf? Dubai? If you’ll go with me, we can spend some very quality, intimate time together. We’d get to know one another very well,” Arik promised, dangling the idea like a carrot. Arik studied Kellus as closely as Kellus studied him. Whatever he saw had a smile growing on his handsome face.

“So you’re saying you’ll help me clean the house if I agree to go?” Kellus asked, taking the bag from Arik’s outstretched hand.

“Done,” Arik said.

“It was a question,” he said, laughing, finding humor in how easily Arik played him to get what he wanted.

“Sounded like a statement to me.” Arik gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “At some point, you’re going to have to tell me what you were thinking about back there in the bathroom. I can’t read you yet, but your face is very expressive. Let me get my computer. I’ll meet you up front. If you have time, we can stop for breakfast before I drop you off.”

Arik was so confident; he couldn’t help but laugh again. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and saw he had less than ten percent battery. He had to remember to bring a charger when he came back. Pulling up his contacts, he found the telephone number for his mechanic and quickly sent him a text. He was late, the guy usually started at the butt crack of dawn, but maybe he could still fit him in today.

Chapter 15

Arik sat casually with one leg crossed over the other, one arm resting on the edge of Kellus’s chair, listening to Paula, a department of health social worker, talk about all the ins and outs of their relationship—literally, the in and out. The woman held nothing back, eagerly discussing all the possibilities of their potential sex life. Much like Arik himself, Paula was a fan of Kellus’s, and honestly, she had such an infectious eagerness to help that he was certain she’d never met a stranger in her life. Couple that with her passion on educating the community on HIV awareness and Arik’s heart eased. Kellus had a wonderful advocate on his side. This place seemed like the only light in his guy’s life. They took good care of him, and for that, he was completely grateful.

“Can we talk about oral sex?” Arik asked.

“Sure. It’s like everything else we’ve discussed. Right now, Kellus’s viral load is undetectable. He’s vigilant on his treatment. You’re on PrEP. As long as everything stays just like this, and you two are monogamous and committed, you’re as safe as you can be. I’m not advocating sex without a condom. I can’t do that. But I also live in the real world. I’ve spoken with enough gay men to understand the challenges out there.” She moved papers around on her desk until she found what she was looking for then extended a piece of paper for them to share. “Here, this shows a recent study. It’s exactly what we’re finding in practice. With Kellus actively keeping his treatment up, the chance of transmitting the disease through condomless sex was virtually nonexistent, and that’s before factoring in the use of PrEP. The problem we’re finding is there are just so many other sexually transmitted diseases to worry about that I need to stress the importance of a condom until you’re certain about being monogamous.”

“And he’s been tested for the other STDs?” Arik asked, knowing that he and Kellus had already spoken about this. He just didn’t want Kellus to have any excuses to stop them in the future. He watched as her compassionate, friendly smile landed on Kellus.

“He’s been serious about his care from the first moment I met him. He’s really quite amazing; he’s a favorite up here. He deserves to find someone special who wants to make sure he’s safe,” she said. Her pretty face turned a bit dreamy as she stared happily at Kellus.

Again, Arik agreed, although this meeting was completely self-serving. He desperately wanted them to have an active, hot, healthy sex life. He wanted to enjoy all the pleasure he could from their intimate times without Kellus being uncomfortable or fearful. If Kel continued worrying, he wouldn’t be able to let go and fully experience their time together.

“I know what we discussed, and I know Kellus was listening. But, Paula, I want to make sure Kellus completely understands what you just said and exactly what that means.” Arik leaned in closer, his knee brushing against the side of Kel’s outstretched thigh. “Okay, let’s just say, if this were you in a monogamous relationship with a partner who was HIV positive but had tested negative for other sexually transmitted diseases, would you give him a blow job without a second thought?”