Painted On My Heart

“With everything John’s done to our family, I never wanted this for him.” Her pain was too much to see. He hated the tears streaming down her face. They’d endured so much grief from their son already.

“I’m sorry, Lisa. I never wanted this either.”

“Go do what you need to get done. We’ll call you if there’s a change,” she said, patting his chest, stepping away.

With nothing else left to say, he let Arik take his arm and guide him out of the hospital toward the car. The sun was incredibly bright and Arik put his jacket in his hands. “I didn’t bring my sunglasses.”

“I have a pair in the car.”

Kellus shrugged on his coat as he walked across the parking lot and got inside Arik’s car.

He placed his palm on Arik’s thigh as they started out of the lot. Luckily, Arik was good with their silence. Kellus closed his eyes, leaned his head back on the headrest, and tried to block out the pain of all the unanswered questions swirling in his mind. A deep gratitude weaved through every thought he’d had, thankful that Arik had taken the day off, insisting on being there with him. He didn’t think he could have held up otherwise.

When Arik took his hand, holding tightly as the vehicle started to slow, Kellus opened his eyes. He hadn’t realized how close to his house they were.

“You should have seen us when we got the loan for this house. We thought we were hitting it big. It was such an accomplishment to be that age and qualifying for our first home,” Kellus said, absently staring out the window as they entered the familiar neighborhood.

“This isn’t your fault,” Arik said tersely. He ignored the tone, knowing that Arik had already gone above and beyond in helping him deal with all this.

“I know,” he said, not bothering to look over at his lover. He didn’t want to see the worry in his eyes.

“I don’t think you do.” Arik spoke with more compassion this time.

“I had vowed to be with him. You know I don’t take that lightly. Before I broke it off, John was somewhat manageable. After that, he spun completely out of control. I didn’t realize how much he’d held it together back then.”

Arik whipped his sports car into the driveway, abruptly pressing on the brake. The car came to a jarring stop as Arik turned toward him and caught his face between his palms, forcing eye contact.

“You aren’t doing this to yourself. What that man has done just since I met you makes me feel like he got what he deserved. I’m not gonna let you carry his burdens. Do you hear me? He was lucky to know you and he pissed that off.”

“Thank you for saying that,” Kellus said, giving Arik a patient smile. Arik always saw the best in him. Gave him more credit than he often deserved. “I just wish this hadn’t turned out like this.”

“John was always going to turn out just like this. I’ve seen the pictures of what he did out there,” Arik said, pointing a finger to his backyard. “This would have destroyed you.”

“He was mad because of you.” Kellus knew Arik was right, and yet he still made the excuse.

“He did this because he’s a psycho addict,” Arik almost yelled. “He was pissed off that you moved on with your life. He wanted to hurt you. There are six people dead because of his actions and one of those could have easily been you.”

The intensity on Arik’s face was so forceful, Kellus narrowed his eyes. “What do you know that you haven’t told me?”

“You weren’t holding John together like you think. He’s been mixed up in some very bad things for a very long time. I’ve had men posted on this street twenty-four seven since we first started dating. John’s been here at least once every single day. This was designed to destroy you. He wasn’t trying to steal from you; he’s moved on to much bigger targets. This was done to put you out of business, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.” Arik’s frustration was tangible. He said his peace and opened his door, slamming it shut before stalking up his driveway to meet a man coming from his backyard. They stopped at about the spot where the backyard gate used to be. He was slower to exit.

Arik stood at the top of the driveway as Kellus walked past the two men, contemplating Arik’s suggestion of John going for much bigger targets and remembering when the police had come by the house asking for his ex. He rounded the corner of the house to see the big gaping hole in the side of his studio. Broken wood poked up from the pile of drywall and crumbled bricks. He could faintly see the bright color of the canvases he’d just finished under the dust and debris of what used to be an exterior wall.