Painted On My Heart

He lowered his head, placing a simple kiss on John’s forehead before he whispered, “You really fucked up this time, didn’t you? I guess that’s par for the course. You never did anything half-assed. My heart aches for your parents right now. You should see them. They’re so torn up over this. If you leave things unfinished, it’ll only break them. Fight for them, John. They need you and you need to make it right with them.”

Tears he didn’t even know had formed rolled down his cheek. He blinked several times, searching every bruise and cut on John’s face. Out of nothing more than the fear this would be his last time to see him, he very gently laid his cheek on John’s shoulder, taking in the warmth from his body, willing himself to remember everything about this moment as he whispered, “I should be mad as hell at you, but I’m not. Even though you hurt me over and over again, I was the one who allowed it. And now, all I can feel is sad for you. I don’t hurt any longer when I think about you. Arik changed all of that for me, made me see how things really were with you and me.”

He took in a deep breath and expelled it as a weary sigh. He closed his eyes, and rested there, drowning in all the things he needed to say.

“I don’t think it was anyone’s fault really. Maybe more mine than yours because I wanted the house with the white picket fence and pushed you for it. We would’ve been better off had we just stayed friends. I was the one to rush us into more. I refused to see that we didn’t want the same things out of life. Maybe you could have gone on and found the happiness you never found with me. I forced our relationship. You were always rebelling against one thing or another, and at the time, I thought I could change you—make things easier for you. I was wrong.”

Kellus lifted his head when he heard someone come inside the room.

“Just a few more minutes.”

Kellus nodded as the nurse left and looked down at John’s battered face.

“You fight, John, and I’ll be here with your parents the whole way through your recovery. You need to meet Arik. He’s taught me how to love and be loved. I love him. He’s given me so much to live for. You need to know what this feels like. Maybe one day you’ll find this for yourself, but you can’t, if you don’t get better, so you need to fight. I’m moving on with my life and leaving the past in the past. Hopefully, when you wake, we can try to rebuild our friendship, be what we always should have been, good friends. You fight for your parents and you fight for your second chance, John. Do you hear me?”

When no words came, he lowered his head to the other man’s forehead and stayed that way for several long moments until he rose and left the room. At the nurses’ station, he left his cell phone number and asked them to call if John took a turn for the worse. As he pushed through the double doors, Arik stood close by, leaning against the wall, waiting for him. Kellus never looked at anyone else; his only focus was on the man that had become his world.

“Can we go?”

“Of course,” Arik said, digging his keys out of his pocket. Kellus managed a nod to John’s parents and a slightly hesitant wave to his own family before he took the comfort of Arik’s hand and left the hospital.

Chapter 25

Arik woke with a dull ache in his head and eyes that seemed too tired and gritty to fully open even in his darkened bedroom. Like every morning since he’d managed to talk Kellus into his bed, he felt around, wanting the calm reassurance of that warm body against his. When his search came up empty, he opened his eyes and confirmed he was alone. He reached for the lamp, then noticed a Post-it note on his alarm clock. He grabbed the note and saw the time on the clock: nine o’clock in the morning.

What? His eyes shifted back to the digital display, then to the drapes drawn tight with only a hint of sunlight peeking from the top. Shit!

That meant over ten hours of sleep. He never slept that long. When his eyes adjusted to the light, he looked down at the hand written note.

Arik,

I got up early. I couldn’t sleep, but I let you sleep because you were passed out like a rock. I didn’t want to wake you.

I’m heading to my place to get set up. My backorders are weighing heavy on me. I need to get started. I silenced your phone. I’m certain that messed up your morning, but you needed to rest. You carry a heavy load before even factoring in the burden of me.