Painted On My Heart

A piece of Kellus’s long hair slipped free of the sexy leather strap holding it back. He wondered if that would take Kellus out of the zone. It did. Kellus sat back, reached for a hand towel, wiping his hands while he looked over at Arik and gave him a gentle smile.

“You have to be tired,” Arik said, getting to his feet while looking down at his watch.

“What time is it?”

“Close to eleven,” he said, moving to Kellus’s side to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not tired. You should go home. I could get in a few more hours.” He said the words passively as he tilted his head backward and smiled up at Arik. It all seemed very pleasing and easygoing. What had Arik missed? Easy was the last word he’d use to describe Kellus Hardin.

“I don’t like you driving all that way so late. You haven’t slept much. You have a lot on your mind,” he said carefully, rubbing a palm up and down Kellus’s back.

“Okay, we’ll go now. Give me a minute to clean up.” Kellus started adding lids to jars, but Arik put a hand on his forearm, stopping him.

“What’s going on with you?”

Confusion hit Kellus’s face as he looked up. “What do you mean?”

“You just gave in too quickly.”

Kellus sat back, his brow knitted together as he stared at Arik. “What you said made sense. I don’t want you to worry and you will until I arrive. Your rest is as important as mine.”

That response took some of the wind out of his sails. How did he argue with reasonableness? Maybe he’d gotten it wrong. Arik matched Kellus’s furrowed brow as he stared down at him.

“Why are you mad?” Kellus asked.

“I’m not. I’m concerned about you.”

“Thank you. I’m trying to take all this and make something better come of it. That’s all.”

“Besides what I bring, are you eating?” Arik questioned, leaning a hip against the worktable.

Kellus sat there a second, thinking over the question, giving him the answer with all his silence. “I’ll do better.”

“Please do. We need to put your health above everything. Keep you strong.”

“So are we leaving or was this just a test that I failed?” Kellus asked when he started to reach for another lid and stopped mid-motion before screwing the cap back on. Those passively said words were off too. Arik knew something was wrong, but how did he combat agreeable? How did he tell Kellus that he wanted him back to his old self—the guy who bucked him at every turn?

“I think we should go, how about you?” he finally stated.

“Probably. So step back and let me close these up,” Kellus added, holding his gaze, but cocking his head toward the table.

“I’ll do this. You get changed,” Arik suggested.

“Okay.” Kellus was off the chair, walking to his bedroom as Arik stared after him. That was the test, and yes, Kellus had failed miserably. He’d never leave his valuable paints to anyone else to care for. That would have been a huge risk for the old Kellus. He had no idea what to do to help.

Chapter 27

Six days later

His heart steadied as Arik’s warm breath danced across the skin of his neck. He dropped his forehead to his pillow and carefully lowered the rest of his body as Arik rolled off him. “Babe, you’re amazing.”

Kellus moved, sliding out of Arik’s arms. Thank God it was dark inside the bedroom. He hadn’t managed an orgasm tonight. He’d lied when Arik had asked, then held off on his, trying to bring Kellus along with him. He never wanted Arik to know.

“I’m going to clean up,” Kellus said, grabbing the towel they’d used for the bed as he headed to the bathroom.

“I’ll come,” Arik said, but when Kellus glanced over his shoulder, Arik hadn’t moved a muscle. Instead, he’d spread out across the mattress with his eyes closed.

“Sleep. I’ll be right back.” Kellus shut the door to the bathroom, flipped on the light switch, and looked down at his flaccid cock. He’d barely managed a hard-on tonight with all the shit going on in his head. His stress levels were off the charts and his body refused to participate. The guilt that he’d let build over John, and now the guilt he felt over lying to Arik, threatened to consume him. He tossed the towel in the dirty-clothes hamper with a heavy, weighted sigh.

Instead of going for the shower, he headed for the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. He had to do better than this; he looked like hell. Dark circles had become a permanent fixture under his eyes, his cheeks were hollowing out, and with a glance down his body, he could see his ribs sticking out. This wasn’t taking care of himself. He was so exhausted from being pulled in so many different directions. He wanted to curl up in a corner and make everything go away. Everything except for his Arik—the only bright spot in his life and the same person he’d just lied to.