Painted On My Heart

In the end, Kellus typed the message, but didn’t hit send. “Goodnight. I miss you. Please don’t leave me. I promise it’s all about you. You’re it for me. I love you. I’ll always love you.” He dropped the phone on the mattress and stared at the ceiling, praying sleep would come.

~?~

The familiar creak in his chair lulled Arik into a false sense of well-being as he rocked gently back and forth, letting it comfort his battered heart. Lifting his forgotten glass of straight scotch to his lips, he sucked down a large swallow as he stared at his computer screen. Well, one email in particular on his computer screen. Cursing as if he were a drunken sailor on a binge may have been an overly harsh response to his California property manager missing their weekly meeting. He had no excuse for his behavior except that he was hurting over Kellus. Arik cocked his head, shrugging that off as he closed his laptop lid. Based on the update from Iris, the company gossip mill had quickly circulated the need for everyone to keep their distance from Arik until further notice.

His head dropped to his hands. This lovesick bullshit truly angered him. How in the world did people function like this? Why would anyone encourage someone to fall in love? This shit sucked, and he honestly had no idea how to make himself feel better. It would be so much easier if he didn’t feel at all. His heart physically hurt. At any given moment, a stray thought of Kellus would slip through his mind, sending a razor-sharp pain slicing across his chest. And since he thought about Kellus twenty-four seven, his tortured heart wasn’t going to be able to handle much more.

He stared down at the glass on his desk. In years past, he would have sent that glass flying by now. Apparently, maturity left it sitting there with just the image of the shards of shattered glass matching the remnants of his soul.

How in the world could Kellus choose that sleazy douche-bag over him? Arik couldn’t even wrap his head around the thought. What kind of hold did that loser meth-head have? Crude thoughts like the size of his dick kept coming to mind, but honestly, even now, he couldn’t see Kellus falling for any of that. Kellus had been right about one thing: he didn’t understand. Arik didn’t understand any of it. None of it made sense. He’d honestly believed him when Kellus had said he loved him.

Arik’s fist slammed down on the desk. He was fucking tired of hurting, and he needed answers. Kellus was just going to have to deal with it. Arik rose, stalking to his bedroom for his keys and jacket. He was downstairs, pulling out of the underground garage, speeding his way to Tarrant County before he thought better of this decision.

Fuck it. Who cared that he’d been the one to push and push and push at Kellus for this relationship. So what that Kellus had been more than clear that he hadn’t wanted to date anyone. Kellus had finally given in; therefore, this was his fucking fault. The guy should have just stayed firm, and Arik wouldn’t have ever known how lonely his life had really been. For someone who had never shared his bed with anyone before, now he couldn’t stand the thought of being in it without Kellus.

They could separate, that was not really fine, but whatever. Kellus would just have to give him time to learn to sleep alone again. That was Kel’s price to pay in picking that loser over him.

Twenty-five minutes later, Arik whipped his car into Kellus’s driveway. He waved at the neighbor looking out her window and sneered at the For Sale sign as he walked straight across the yard to the front door. He used his key—the fucking security alarm wasn’t set again—and Arik took the time to arm the system before heading directly to Kellus’s room, undressing as he went. He never stopped as he rounded the corner. Then he saw Kellus sleeping soundly in the bed. His anger calmed a bit as he climbed in next to him.

“Scoot over,” Arik huffed, choosing Kellus’s side of the bed, because he was still mad.

“What?” Kellus asked sleepily.

“I’m glad you can sleep. I can’t. Scoot over.”

Kellus did, rolling toward the other side, giving Arik his back.

“That’s enough.”

He slid in, aligning his body against the unbelievably warm and inviting body of his lover. He moved close, pulling at Kellus’s pillow to share as one arm went under his head and the other draped over his artist’s chest, drawing Kellus back tightly to his body.

As he deeply inhaled the scent of his lover, the tension eased from his body. Kellus pushed back against him, pressing every part of his body against Arik’s, nothing was left untouched. He instantly calmed. If for nothing more than this one night, Arik was whole again.