“Luke, do you have anything to say that’ll help this situation?”
His brother never lifted his head as he mumbled, “I’m sad about Dad, and I can’t shake it.”
His brother could verbalize that right now, but not mention it a month or two ago, before everything had turned to shit in his life?
“The principal wants us all in counseling. She’s arranged it. Apparently, you don’t need your first period class, so we’re doing it then, and I’m gonna be there with you,” Levi explained.
“I’m sorry, Levi. I knew I was spinning. I can’t help it. I’m tired all the time,” Luke said, his head still down, resting on his folded arms.
“I thought you might be home playing video games,” Levi said, trying to measure how many hours of games he was playing every day. That had Luke lifting his head to stare at Levi.
“I’m not playing anything right now. I just don’t feel like it.” The kid looked seriously exhausted. “I just miss him all the time. Sometimes I feel like it’s just gonna suck me under.”
Levi nodded and moved to the table to take a seat. “I miss him too, Luke. But you gotta get your grades up and you have to stay in school. That’s what he would want. Plus, truancy court costs a lot of money, but worse than that, they’re not gonna let us stay together if you don’t do what you’re supposed to.” Levi didn’t think it was possible, but Luke looked sadder in the moment. The look in his little brother’s eyes almost made him lose his composure. “Do you need to talk to a psychiatrist? Do you need medication?”
“Isn’t that what the school’s doing?” Luke asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” Levi answered, but he honestly didn’t know. “Well, maybe they are. I don’t know, it sounded like just a counselor. Maybe they can refer us to someone. I’d never been sent to the principal’s office before, so I was freaked out. I didn’t even think to ask.”
“Will Medi-Cal pay for it?”
“I don’t know that either, but I’ll pay for it. You gotta get better, Luke.” Levi reached over and gripped his brother’s forearm. “And starting right now, you gotta email each one of your teachers and apologize. Find out what you need to do to get your grades up. I’ll help with that too. We can work on your schoolwork this weekend.”
Luke nodded, his eyes becoming red-rimmed and filling with tears. Oh man, he looked like he was going to cry, and Levi just didn’t know what to do with that.
“I’m sorry. You should probably ground me. I definitely need grounding. Dad would restrict my video games.”
Levi fought the smile of such an honest reaction. Luke was such a good kid. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea with this. I kind of wish you’d play your games because then we’d be normal again.” They stared at one another for several long seconds before Levi spoke again. “Luke, just come to me when you have a problem. I know I’m a poor substitute for Dad, but I’ll help figure it out.” Again, they stared at one another for a long moment, Luke not saying anything until he let out another long yawn and shoved away from the table, going for the coffee pot.
“You were in track in junior high, right?” Levi asked, turning in his chair to follow Luke’s movements.
“Yeah. I missed signups this year,” Luke said, pulling the coffee from a cabinet. “It was when Dad got sick again.”
“Why don’t we get up early and run in the mornings that you have counseling? I’ve been working out like crazy at the clinic. I swear it helps me with the depression,” Levi suggested.
“You’re already doing everything for us,” Luke said while dumping water in the dispenser.
“I think it’ll be good for all three of us. We can jog together at the track at school and go to the counseling deal afterward,” Levi said, checking the time on his phone. Close to time for the city bus to arrive. If he could make it to the bus stop on time, he could leave the car for his brothers and catch a ride to the coffee shop, maybe he could makeup some of these hours he’d missed.
“Crap, I can’t make this. We don’t have electricity. I’m running over to Aunt Linda’s,” Luke said, heading for the back door.
“Make sure you lock the door when you leave her house. I’m going to work. Call me and check in,” Levi said as he stood. His brother nodded as he stepped out the back door, leaving him standing there in the dark kitchen.
Levi left the house, stopping by their car to grab his duffel bag, silently wondering how the heck he could afford to get Luke professional care if he needed it. As he walked toward the bus stop, another worry landed on his shoulders. This neighborhood used to be filled with good people. Yes, they were poor, but still decent. As a kid, he used to play outside, but maybe as many as ten years ago, that all changed when the San Diego Housing Commission built an apartment complex at the end of the street near the bus stop. The closer he got to the already rundown set of buildings, the faster he walked. He passed by a drug deal in progress, then, only a few feet away from there, he walked past a couple of hookers who worked as a team with the dealer, creating a one-stop shop for the buyer. Levi kept his head down, ignoring their taunts—he thought he might have gone to junior high with one of those women.