Reservations

The feelings Thane thought he had control over now hurt him on a level he’d never thought possible. The picture was placed in front of him, and he didn’t like any part of it. Levi was so angry. The accusations Levi flung out stung. No matter what the guy thought, he hadn’t intended to make him feel less than—quite the opposite. Thane was just at a complete loss for how to make this better. He’d fucked up royally, and his heart begged him to salvage whatever he could.

“Levi…”

“Thane, stop.” Levi started backward, putting distance between them. “It’s been made crystal clear what you truly think of me. I might not look or act like I fit in your world, and that’s fine, because I’m pretty sure I never asked to be in your world. Not if it means selling my soul. Fuck you, Thane Walker. I have value outside of being your play toy no matter what you think. Now, get out of my life.”

Levi pivoted on his heels, turning away, leaving him standing there. He was still reeling from the harsh words Levi had slung at him. He deserved it. He deserved every one of those words, but Levi didn’t deserve to feel the way Thane had made him feel. He was so sorry. He just wanted a chance to explain his side.

“Levi, give me a minute,” he said and started toward Levi. Thane was stricken with contempt for himself as he witnessed the defeated slump he’d put in Levi’s broad shoulders. He had no idea how to make this right, but he couldn’t leave with Levi feeling so low. Thane’s head issues drove him to this point.

“Oh God, of course.” Levi had made it back on the porch, but suddenly swung around, his eyes wide. He quickly trotted down the steps, storming his way. “You don’t have to worry. I’d hate for you to lose sleep on my account. My life’s more than full. I never wanted anything more with you. No matter how you may have interpreted anything I said last night, I didn’t really expect anything from you. You were just a fuck and that’s it. As good as it was, it’s done. I needed the release, mission accomplished, now it’s fucking over.”

He couldn’t accept this as the end. Thane’s voice broke as he said, “It’s not over, Levi. We can work this out. We could…”

“Stop saying it like that!” Levi roared, advancing on him again. “It’s never gonna happen again, and if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll be forced to quit the only job I’ve found to help me pay for all of our expenses. I wouldn’t expect someone like you to even understand the compassion required to do what I ask.” Levi scrubbed his hands down his face. “Never mind. I’m quitting.”

“No,” Thane almost yelled, his tone frantic as he grabbed Levi’s arm, but Levi immediately yanked out of his hold like he was repulsed by Thane’s touch. “Look, I’m leaving today. I won’t be back for quite some time. Don’t quit because of my stupidity. I’ll do as you ask. I’ll leave you alone.”

Levi didn’t look back as he turned, trotted up the steps, and marched toward the door. Levi’s brother stood in the open doorway, confusion on his face. There was no question that boy idolized his brother. Levi carefully moved him backward and slammed the door. Thane stood there a minute, staring at the closed door.

He hated the feeling gnawing in the pit of his stomach. He finally decided Levi wasn’t coming back out, and there was no hope of salvaging this moment. He turned, the street littered with people looking his direction, and he felt terrible they’d witnessed his and Levi’s fight.

Somehow knowing that made it all worse, but he couldn’t take that back either. When he got closer to his car, a woman called out something about taking Levi’s place. He hadn’t thought he could feel lower until right that minute. He was wrong…again. Thane didn’t respond to the invitation. Instead, he got inside the car and pulled away from the house, ignoring everything but the intense ache in his chest that wouldn’t ease.

His need to control everything in his world had just made everything worse. How was that even possible?

Chapter 14

Seven hours later, Thane stared out the small window in the coach seat he’d been cramped in for far too long. His tired, sleep-deprived eyes burned as he watched the lights of the runway rise up to greet him as the airplane landed at BWI airport. He hadn’t slept a wink the entire flight although he was past the point of exhaustion. Over and over, he continually rehashed the argument he’d had with Levi. Dwelling on every word and the hurt and angry expression he’d seen on Levi’s face. The images haunted him. He’d royally messed things up, and he couldn’t let it go.