~~~
Levi stepped out, quietly shutting the screen door behind him. His brothers were sitting on the steps of the back porch. Luke sat about mid-step down in one corner; Logan sat a little lower on the other side. Neither spoke. The cool temperature had Levi wrapping his arms around his chest and heading to the step closest to Luke, taking a seat right beside him. Luke was sniffling, bent over, holding his legs, studying the broken concrete, probably still crying. His head was angled away, and he wouldn’t look at Levi. Logan looked over his shoulder and up at him. His eyes were red-rimmed, but dry. Thank God for that.
“I have a story,” Levi started and paused, seeing if it would draw Luke’s attention. It didn’t, but Logan turned, shifting to where he could easily look up at Levi. “Luke, when I found out mom was pregnant with you, I seriously couldn’t wait for you to get here. I was so excited.” Still Luke didn’t do or say anything.
Levi let out a slow calming breath, pausing as he stared out into the small backyard, remembering that time in his life.
“I’m gonna tell you guys a secret. Something I haven’t told anyone. That was about the time I realized that I wasn’t like the other boys in my class. I remember just kind of being aware that I didn’t buy into the boy-girl thing. I remember praying that Luke came as a little girl, because I assumed any children that came from my parents would come liking boys, and I didn’t want Luke to have to deal with the things I had started going through. I’d also read somewhere girls were supposedly made of sugar and spice and everything nice and boys were made of snips of snails and puppy dog tails. That was just too much for me to sort out in my head. Everything nice sounded so much better to me than chopped up snails.”
That had Luke tilting his head in Levi’s direction with a genuine grin as Levi continued.
“It’s kind of shocking that someone so dumb made it to medical school, isn’t it?” Levi chuckled at his own ridiculousness and clapped Logan, who had also started laughing, on the shoulder. “And with you, I just knew we were gonna have all sorts of bigger problems because of how much you liked to eat dirt.”
That had Logan sincerely laughing, because there was no lie in his words. When he was little, Logan did prefer eating dirt over just about anything.
Levi lifted his arm, wrapping it tightly around Luke’s back, drawing him closer. He’d thought he might have pulled Luke out of the funk until his brother dropped his head to his hands and stared down at the cracked concrete.
Concerned, Levi looked at Logan whose smile instantly faded as he watched Luke retreat again. Luke’s mental health was the only thing that would get in the way of his resolve for them to stay together. If it were better for Luke to be with Linda, he’d let him go. He didn’t want to, but he would.
The way Luke’s body shook left no doubt he was crying. At least Levi thought his little brother was crying until Luke lifted his face and the look touched his heart. His brother’s tear-stained face had genuine amusement crinkling the corners of his eyes. With a huge broad smile, he beamed. “Logan ate dirt? How is this the first time I’m hearing this?”
“I know, right?” Levi added and wanted to add to Luke’s amusement, even if it was at Logan’s expense. “I remember Dad and I saw a toddler with a helmet on. Dad told me it was designed to protect the baby, and I immediately asked him to get one for Logan even though he wasn’t a baby anymore.” All three of them laughed at that. “That’s not information I really let out. It was pretty dumb. But when you were born, Luke, I remember praying to God that if he made you regular, I’d take care of you always. I even told him I’d take care of you if you weren’t regular but I’d prefer regular.”
“What’d you think regular was?” Logan asked, looking genuinely confused.
He seriously had the best brothers in the world. Before he had a chance to say those very words, Luke looked at him, held his gaze, and said, “I don’t think your prayers helped much.”
Everything faded as Levi focused in on his brother who again ducked his head to stare down at his bare feet. Instinctively Levi tightened his hold. After a second, Luke turned his head slightly, staring back up at Levi. The look said everything the words hadn’t.
“What’d I miss?” Logan asked.
Levi’s gut had told him there was more to Luke’s depression than just his father’s death. He wondered if his dad had known. Probably so. He was always so good about those things. Oh, man, reality slapped him firmly in the face. That was why his dad insisted he be the one to take care of Luke and Logan. He’d give the love and support to Luke that his father had given him. Levi ignored Logan and spoke directly to Luke. “You know we’re gonna be okay. If we stick together, I can make it all work. No one says I have to finish medical school right now.”