Up in Arms

“Son, field triage made the decision to remove your left leg and from what I saw when you arrived, it was just in time. You would not have lived much longer with the significant blood loss you experienced.”

“I’m sorry,” Rylie said. His voice cracked, tears formed in his eyes, and desperation filled his words. “I’m so sorry. If I had more time, or better medical training, I might have been able to do more.”

Trevor watched Rylie, and then looked over at Brody who still wouldn’t look at him. His mind was muddled. He tried hard to register everything coming at him. The new round of pain medicine acted fast, already starting to work, numbing his thoughts even more. Finally, Trevor turned his gaze to Reed, who looked at him with deep pity. Trevor didn’t like that look at all. Reed gripped his hand tighter, not letting him go as he tried to shake free of the hold. His eyes began to droop, his brain turning groggy as the realization of what they said settled in.

“I’ve lost my leg? Where?” Trevor turned, looking only at the physician.

“Below the knee, son.”

“And my shoulder and arm look good?” Trevor asked, fighting to keep his eyes open, his mind working.

“Right now they do, yes. It’s miraculous as I said, but I can see a full recovery on your upper extremities with physical therapy.”

“What’s next for me?” Trevor kept his eyes on Dr. Willis, not wanting to see anymore pity or tears on his behalf.

“Well, if everything stays like it is, you should be able to begin moving as early as tomorrow. You’ll then be moved stateside to begin physical therapy and prosthesis care.” Dr. Willis dropped the chart back in the end of the bed.

“Will the military allow me to stay in?” A yawn tore from Trevor’s lips, and he forced his eyes open.

“Sir, that’s a conversation to have with your superiors. I don’t have those answers. You need to rest. Your recovery will require all your strength.”

“They aren’t going to let me stay with my team without a leg. What am I goinna do now?” Trevor tightened his hold on Reed’s hand; it felt very much like a life preserver thrown his direction in a stormy, turbulent sea. Before too much fear could grip his heart, his eyes closed, and sleep took over.

Chapter Fourteen

Startled awake by an annoying beeping, Trevor looked around the small hospital room and found it still ugly as hell. But thankfully, he was alone this time. He lay there several minutes, looking up at the ceiling, recalling everything told to him before they drugged him back to sleep. That was a tricky move on their part to dump everything on him when his mind was too groggy to properly think it through.

Trevor did a quick assessment of his body. He could feel the tightening in his shoulder and arm, but the pain wasn’t terrible. Taking it as a good sign, he used his right hand to flip the covers back from his chest. Under nothing more than sheer willpower, he gritted his teeth and used the armrest on the right side of the bed to pull his body to a sitting position. It took a considerable amount of time, but he made it. Trevor’s first thoughts about the pain being bearable were banished. Every muscle in his chest tensed under the excruciating pain slashing through his shoulder. He looked down, surprised nothing tore open.

He sat there for several minutes, preparing himself mentally. Every emotion played through his mind over and over. Moments of deep self-pity kept trying to slip in, but he fought against them. Finally, he pushed the covers away and manned up, looking down at his leg, seeing for the first time that his foot was no longer there. It was severed below his knee. The sight startled him. His stomach churned, threatening to revolt. His heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t stop staring at his stub. It was gone. His leg was gone and his life would be forever changed.

How could he continue his military career? It was all he’d ever wanted. His team had become his family. Trevor hated weakness in himself, but he allowed this moment to let sorrow fill his heart. No way would they let him stay with his team, and his team was everything to him. Running his hand over his face, then through his hair, Trevor forced himself to buck the fuck up before the unshed tears threatened to fall. Shit happened for a reason, at least that’s what he’d always heard. He would figure this out. Life sucks, and then you get to die and for some reason, it wasn’t his time to go.

Never taking his eyes from his leg, Trevor’s thoughts went to Reed. And wasn’t that just something, the way his heart reacted to the man? Throughout this dire situation, Reed gave his heart hope. Absently rubbing his chest, the images of his leg faded, and the way Reed looked sleeping on this bed came to mind. He looked so handsome. Drop dead gorgeous in every way, but while he slept, those few hard edges softened, his lips pouted. Trevor fell completely in love with him in that one moment.

A grin tugged at his lips. Like he wasn’t already head over heels for the guy. But at the first moment of seeing Reed asleep—and he hadn’t even understood why Reed was lying on his bed that way—he knew without question the guy would be forever the one true love of his life. Rylie had it completely wrong. No way was he anything like Reed. Reed was strength, love, goodness, and consideration all wrapped in an extraordinarily handsome package. Trevor could never live up to half of what he already saw in Reed.

Trevor’s brow narrowed. His heart filled with deep anguish. For the first time since his mother died, a small involuntary tear slipped from his eyes. Reed needed to go. Trevor couldn’t strap this on Reed. The longer he allowed this, the harder the end would be. Tragedy always faded for those not directly living it. Those supporting and helping always slipped away and began to live their life again. If Trevor let this continue, when Reed had enough of him, he would move on. It would destroy his heart, forever. God, he thought watching Brody sucked. No way did anything about Brody feel remotely close to the way he now felt about Reed, and these feelings would only grow.