Secret

On stable ground again, Dylan looked back at the professionally crafted email and his heart plunged to his feet. Surely that response to seeing Tristan’s name would go away in time. It just sucked to not be wanted, when he wanted so badly. “No,” he said aloud to himself. This is for the better. Guys like Tristan wouldn’t wait for a closeted man’s little girl to graduate and move on to college.

“Spill,” Teri said from behind him. She leaned against his desk. Her suit jacket gone. Her arms crossed over her chest. She’d obviously been there awhile and he’d completely forgotten she was even in the office.

“What are you talking about?” Dylan asked, exiting out of his email.

“You’ve been funky since you got home. You’re snappy. No one wants to talk to you because they’ll get their heads bitten off, and you’re more moody than I’ve ever seen you. Definitely not a man who just made millions of dollars,” Teri pointed out.

He looked down at his hands. His palms were sweaty, his heart raced, and he felt like he wanted to cry. He’d never experienced this kind of emotional turmoil before in his life. He loved Teri, but that had been gradual. She was the mother of his children. As for the kids, he’d just looked at them and knew love. But Tristan was different. Did he really, truly fall in love with him in a forty-eight hour window?

Absolutely.

No! No! Lust. He lusted after Tristan. It was lack of sex and all that crap he kept telling himself.

“You met someone,” she exclaimed, a huge smile growing on her face. “I wondered if you got laid, but you’re not acting like a man that got any after your self-imposed, very long dry spell. But you did and you like him, don’t you?”

“It’s not like that,” Dylan started, because the truth was way too confusing, even to him.

“Oh no, you’re doing that thing you do—denying yourself everything because of your perceived mistakes. You ruined it, didn’t you?” Her tone was hard and Dylan looked up to see her smile gone.

“You know, this is really not the time for you to point out everything you think’s wrong with my life. I met someone, but I ended it.” Dylan started to rise, but she pushed him back in his seat, placing both arms on his chair.

“Love’s hard to find, and when you do, you don’t throw it away. I’ve got Mark. I love him, Dylan. I’ll marry him when we’re divorced. He gets what we’re doing, he’s willing to wait, and no one—not even you—knows all the time I spend with him,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes. “It’s because I’m not stupid enough to throw away my chance at that kind of love.”

“I can’t be gone every time you come home,” he argued.

“Yes, you can. Our kids are grown,” she said louder than he thought she’d intended. That had her pushing away from him. She paced in front of him, watching him closely with each step she took. “You’re such a frustrating man sometimes! Now, who is it? Do I know him?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not pursuing this. It was one weekend out of his life. He’s not pursuing me. It’s over. I had sex this weekend for the first time in a long time. It meant more to me because it’s been so long,” Dylan reasoned.

“So you both agreed on just sex?” she asked.

“Yes,” Dylan replied with a firm nod because that was the absolute truth.

“But it meant more to you?” Teri questioned, bringing her pacing to a stop in front of him.

“No…yes. You know. Maybe. I don’t know.” Dylan stalled. “He’s not from our world. He didn’t really get what we’re doing here.” Dylan motioned a hand between the two of them.

“No one gets it. I’m not sure I get it anymore,” Teri added.

“I didn’t know things had gotten that far between you and Mark,” Dylan responded to Teri’s confession.

“I didn’t want to worry you. I’ll stay until Cate’s settled like we agreed. But I’m telling you, it’s good to have someone to love. I’ve lived with my best friend, now I’ll live with a man I have passion for,” Teri admitted, still watching him closely. “I want that for you, too. I worry about you after we’re all gone.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll get my groove on.” Dylan forced a laugh, trying for funny, but it felt lame. Teri looked sad now and he knew how he looked. Completely pathetic. He hadn’t slept or eaten since he’d been home.

“Call him,” she suggested, nodding her head toward the phone. Dylan shook his head no.

“I told him I wouldn’t. He doesn’t want me like that anyway.”

“Then it’s his loss,” she said, pulling away. “Look for someone else now.”

“I’ve got this merger to get through.” He turned away from her, back to his computer. “When do you think you can get back to me on the contract?”

“Possibly tonight or tomorrow with the changes marked. Dylan, why does my heart tell me that you need to call him?” she questioned.

“I have no idea. Probably because you worry too much. If you can get it back to me tonight, I’ll get you whatever changes we need and shoot it back to you right away. You can send them back to him and his legal department for me. It would make the whole thing faster if you facilitated these exchanges,” Dylan asserted, then he was back to his computer. No idea what he planned to do there, but he opened the internet, the Wilder search engine came up.

Damn.

“Then it was him,” Teri said from behind him. Shit, he must have said that out loud. “Is it safe for you to go to work for him?” she asked quietly.

“I’m fine, Teri. I’m done talking about this. You have work to do,” he said, nodding her toward the door in the nicest possible way.

“Okay, but my gut says to call him. I’ll have something back tonight.” She gathered her things and was out the door without any more of her inquisition. Thank god! Talking about Tristan made things more real, and honestly, he understood Teri’s concern. He was incredibly worried about the prospect of seeing Tristan again.