The Current Between Us

He knew of another option, one he hadn’t let himself consider before now, but yet, somehow, predestined to happen since the first moment he met Trent. As he pulled from the highway, he reached down and tried to entwine their hands together. It wasn’t fair of Gage, but he needed Trent’s physical touch in order to consider the possibility of this last option.

Trent didn’t seem in a giving mood. When he went to take his hand, Trent denied him. Trent never took his gaze from the side window, but refused his hand, instead linking his own hands together in his lap. Gage guessed he deserved it and if he were being honest, he would probably have done the same thing, but it didn’t help the insanity of the thoughts going through his head.

He’d worked through it all in his mind, even this last unspeakable option, and now it was back to his heart. Not one of his feelings for Trent or the children had changed. Or maybe they had. The last few hours had strengthened the deep love he felt for this man beside him. He couldn’t stand to see the hurt in Trent’s eyes, and it pained him to know he’d put it there.

“I’m sorry for stepping away for a couple of days, but this is my life’s work, Trent. You had a photo of one of the deadliest men in the world in your children’s bedroom. I needed time to figure it out.” Gage spoke as he drove, taking his eyes from the road every few seconds, glancing over at Trent to see his reaction. The man never so much as batted an eye.

“Now we’ve figured out who this guy is, we need to decide what the next step is for you and the children, and for us.” Gage paused, giving Trent a chance to talk, but he stayed quiet, staring out the window.

“Please talk to me, Trent,” Gage said, sighing when he was again met with silence. Tired of being ignored, Gage contemplated rounding the block one more time, forcing Trent to speak to him. Instead he pulled into Trent’s driveway wanting no distraction as they talked, needing to work out a plan for their future.

“Goodbye, Gage,” Trent said and was out of the door before Gage could put the car in park. The car door slammed hard. Trent took long strides, eating up the distance from the driveway to the front door.

“Wait a damn minute!” Gage yelled, tearing from the car toward Trent, but nothing stopped Trent. Gage ran the last few steps to get to the front door before Trent opened it.

“That’s all you have to say to me: Goodbye, Gage?” Gage demanded from behind Trent, slapping his palm on the screen door to keep it closed as Trent went to open it.

“What the fuck else do you want me to say? Thank you for fucking me a few times before you screwed me in the ass with your last ever report on my children’s father? Is that it? Is that what you want to hear?” Trent flipped around, raging at Gage who didn’t step back, but kept Trent right there between him and the door, with the tables turned. Trent was completely in his personal space, bumping Gage in the chest.

“I didn’t create this problem,” Gage said back calmly, but firmly.

“No, but you’re sure gonna bring it to a head, making sure the entire world knows,” Trent raged back. They were nose to nose now, and Gage refused to move.

“This guy can’t be allowed to go scot-free. Have you considered he might come after these kids? Fuck no, you haven’t considered it. He’s all holed up, getting his religion on. What happens when he decides he wants his babies back?” Gage said, in Trent’s same tone.

“Fuck you! Don’t you dare try to make yourself the hero here,” Trent said. That one stung. Gage finally took that small step back, then another.

“If that’s how you feel, go ahead inside then.” Gage never experienced the depth of loss as those few words cost him. Everything in him screamed at him to make this right, but he didn’t know what else to say and apparently Trent didn’t either. Trent turned from him, fiddling with the key in the door. Gage could see Trent’s hand shaking so badly he couldn’t get the key in the lock. His head dipped forward, making a solid thump on the hard wood of the door. Trent cried and that did it for Gage. The love of his life was broken and crying, by his hand. The magnitude of the thought caused his heart to burst wide open. His own tears sprang to his eyes.

Gage carefully and tenderly came in behind Trent. He placed his hand over Trent’s where he attempted to unlock the front door, and the other hand turned this exquisite man around to face him, bringing him in to cry on his shoulder.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Gage said. Trent wrapped him in his arms, bringing Gage to him in a tight embrace. Trent’s face lay buried in his neck and shoulder, the tears weren’t stopping. “I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. Shhh… I love you.”

Trent stayed like this for several minutes until the tears slowed to a stop. Gage continued to hold Trent, never wanting to let him go. He stayed with his arms wrapped around this man, his hand resting along his neck, his fingers tangling in his hair, trying to give him any comfort he could. They stood alone in the dark, with the moonlight surrounding them. Gage knew his men were around watching this whole scene, but he didn’t care, and he smiled when Trent wrapped himself tighter in the embrace.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Trent said into his neck.

“Me too,” Gage whispered.

“I know this isn’t your fault, you didn’t do this,” Trent said and laid his head on Gage’s shoulder, still holding on tight.

“Trent…” Gage started.

“Shhh… You need to go take care of this. If you can, please call me once it’s done. I’m gonna let the kids go to school, but bring them home early tomorrow. It’ll give me some time to make arrangements. You’re right; he could easily come after them. I didn’t think about that,” Trent said, finally rising.