Texas Pride

They watched him leave as he finished the sentence. Austin started out after Mike, but Kitt stopped him with a hand to the arm.

“Let him go. There’s nothin’ you can do. Mike’s a good guy. Whatever’s gonna happen, will happen, but Mike isn’t a talker.” Kitt tried hard to convince himself what he said was true. Mike was a good guy, but he liked a good story, and he liked to drink on occasion. One slip up was all it would take to have this spreading like wildfire.

“It doesn’t matter. He can’t expose you. It wouldn’t be in his best interest. I’ll bury him if he does,” Austin said, reaching for Kitt who stepped toward him.

“Goddamn it what was I thinkin’? I’ve been caught twice, after never, ever bein’ suspected. Fuck it, Austin.” Kitt lowered his head to Austin’s shoulder. Austin instantly embraced him. He ran his hand up Kitt’s neck, tangling his fingers into the back of his hair and held him close, breathing him in.

“Babe…” Austin whispered in his ear. Kitt stayed in his arms, tucked into Austin’s neck until Austin forced his head up. Austin planned a kiss, but once he got a look in Kitt’s eyes, he stopped in mid motion.

“No. No more. You make me crazy. You make me think it’s all going to be okay and it’s not. There’s a reason I had Sean. I could go to him when it was convenient for me. You walk into my life and screw convenience. Hell, screw everything. I just wanna fuck you for the world to see.”

“It’s the way I feel about you, too,” Austin said carefully, clearly unsure of the point Kitt tried to make. Austin didn’t back away from Kitt, he kept him close, tightening his arms around his waist.

“No more, Austin. I have too much ridin’ on right now. I can’t risk this. I don’t think Kylie will tell, and I don’t think Mike will, but I can’t risk a third person findin’ us out. Those two are the only people on the planet I fully trust. I can’t risk this right now. You have no idea the debt my father had when he died, and all I’ve done is add to it tryin’ to find a way out of it. Right now is too important to me.” Kitt stepped back breaking Austin’s tight hold, leaving them standing at arm’s length. Kitt straightened his spine, bowed his chest, physically keeping himself strong.

“I want you to trust me and if debt’s the problem, I have more money than I can ever spend. I can solve your money problems.” There was a desperation laced in Austin’s words.

“That’s not what I meant. You aren’t listenin’. You need to hear me. I’m not takin’ your money. Why would you even give me the money, to sleep with you more? Like pay me to sleep with you and be around when you want me? No, Austin, I’m not that guy.” Kitt let anger fill him. It was so much better than the ache in his heart, begging him to stop this right now. He stepped further away putting more distance between them.

“I never said that. It was never even implied.” Austin began but Mike came through the front doors of the barn. He looked at each one for a long minute, his presence back in the barn said more than the words he was clearly trying to form.

“Kitt, it doesn’t change anything and it sure as hell explains a lot. Your life’s shit, man. If this makes you happy, you need to go for it. I’ll keep it quiet, I swear.” The words were said, and Mike was gone again.

“I can’t risk this right now, Austin. We need to back off, and I need you to leave right now.” Kitt never looked back as he stepped around Austin and walked straight to the break room to clean his release off the cabinets and throw away the lube and condom packets before anyone else had to the chance to happen in on him.

“What the fuck have I been thinkin’?” Kitt asked himself as he slammed open the break room door.

Chapter 20

Kitt pulled the tractor into the barn with nothing but the moonlight and memory to guide his path. It had been a solidly packed forty-eight hours since his new colt was born. He hadn’t heard anything from either Mike or Austin. He’d sent Austin packing, so he got that. Pain and hurt radiated from Austin as Kitt sent him on his way. It had almost been a tangible entity on its own. So no, Kitt hadn’t expected to hear from Austin. Maybe his heart hoped he would have, but his head knew better.

As for Mike, he didn’t know for sure. Mike wasn’t the kind of guy to be put off by things like this. But, it was a big breech in confidence to have kept a secret like this for so long. Kitt couldn’t remember ever hearing a homophobic slur from Mike. He wasn’t a racist, either. He was just a good, hard working kind of guy. To have him MIA for so long, especially after the colt was born, was just plain weird.

Kitt parked the tractor and headed straight over to check on the new mom and colt. He bypassed dinner and drove home to shower. Technically, if he let himself think about it, he was past exhausted. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours since Austin shared his bed. Between the birth and the baling, work took up every bit of his time. Jose had a wife and kids and managed to do everything Kitt did and then some, but for some reason, he felt completely off his game.

Kitt’s heart ached from the moment he woke until the moment he fell asleep. It never gave him a break, just a constant reminder of what he threw away. Regardless of being dead on his feet, Kitt knew he wouldn’t sleep until he got things resolved, at least with Mike.