Four, if you count the business.
There were more voices in my head than ever, and they were all arguing against each other. All of them gave good advice or bad advice, depending on how you looked at it.
Other people are at stake, Julia. It’s not just about you this time.
I sunk my head into my hands. This was the kicker, really. That no matter how I handled Louden, he’d never be satisfied. Even if I gave him what he wanted, it wouldn’t be enough. Especially not now…
And what would come next? He’d go after the people closest to me, as he always did. Friends, co-workers… the people I cared about. And this time…
… even the people I loved.
No, I wouldn’t allow that. I couldn’t live with myself if I even tried taking a chance on it.
Suddenly I had my answer. It wasn’t the answer I wanted — it never was. But it was definitely the plan I needed to hear myself say.
Jumping out of my chair, I dumped the rest of my coffee into the sink and bolted into my bedroom. I knew where I was going, and what I had to do.
Now if only I had enough time to do it.
Forty-Seven
SAVANNAH
I snuck into my own goddamn shop. Crept inside like a thief, checking both sides of the street before inserting the key silently into the lock.
The first real light of dawn had cracked the sky, showering everything in this strange, amber light. I wouldn’t be open for hours. Louden would come early though, I knew that much.
And I sure as shit didn’t plan on being here.
The back room was darker than the front of the store, and I wasn’t about to turn on the light. I could see well enough though. Everything from the belongings I still kept here to the still-ruffled bedroll, sprawled across the floor.
My mind wanted to float back to last night. To mull over all the delicious things my three boyfriends had done to me on that bedroll, lifting my witch’s skirts and taking me all at once.
But I couldn’t think about that now. If I did, I’d only start crying again.
I made my way to the far corner, and slid the lowest shelving unit aside. It took a moment to wedge myself into the space I’d created. Another half minute for my fingernails to catch the edge of the spackle tape, and peel it slowly back away from the patch in the wall.
What are you going to do, asshole?
The piece of sheetrock attached to the tape popped free. I slid it aside.
Think you can run forever?
The hole was dark and dusty. I slid my hand into it. Felt my fingers close over the soft, worn leather…
This is stupid.
Grunting, I pulled out the satchel. It was a bit bigger than I remembered it.
Almost as stupid as calling yourself Savannah.
I unzipped it. Its contents sparkled even in the half-light.
Almost even as stupid as falling in love.
Usually I took what I needed from it. This time, I took it all.
Taking. That’s really what you’re best at, isn’t it?