At about the same time though, the guilt flooded in.
This is your fault, Kayleen.
I’d been avoiding it. Dreading it. But now it was here.
If you hadn’t insisted on meeting with Jay…
I scraped the plates and utensils. Rinsed them completely of Hollandaise sauce. Already, my smile had faded.
Technically, this was all my fault. If only I’d listened to myself! If only I’d spoken up sooner, at the cabin, or even before.
I was in the middle of sliding a plate into the dishwasher when a hand closed abruptly over mine.
“Hey…”
Like a ninja, Chase had materialized beside me. He guided me into putting the plate down, then turned my face toward his.
“You’re not upset about any of this, are you?”
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t hide it. Instead, I tried to look away.
“Kayleen, stop.”
His voice was surprisingly gentle. I’d expected him to be mad, or at the very least disappointed. Chase had always been the most excited about the books. The most thrilled about having the publishing and marketing part of the process all set up.
“I… I just fucked everything all up for you,” I said.
“No way.”
“Yes, Chase. I did.” I really wasn’t into this right now. I didn’t want to be patronized. “If I hadn’t stuck my nose where it didn’t—”
“No one blames you for this any more than we blame Nathan’s dad,” he jumped in. “Who the jury’s still out on, but may or may not be a stubborn asshole.”
He smirked, but it was lost on me.
“The point is, this was going to happen no matter what,” said Chase. “Jay was going to see the chapters anyway. And when he saw we hadn’t stripped Juliana out of the book… he was going to ditch us.”
I felt a tiny bit lighter. That part was definitely true. The asshole had actually said it himself.
“Still, I’m the only reason you have Juliana in the book,” I said. “Not that I’m bragging or anything, but that character is obviously based on me.”
“She’s based on our relationship with you, yes,” Chase allowed. “But she’s still just a fictional character.”
“Her personality, her mannerisms — they’re a lot like mine,” I argued. “Aside from her dyed purple hair, she’s me.”
Chase scratched at his chin and sighed. In the end he shrugged. “So what? You like t
he story, right?”
“I love the story! That’s not the point.”
“But that is the point,” Chase said. “Juliana makes the whole story better. Just like you make us better.”
He reached out, slipping both arms snugly around my waist. Leaning back against the counter, he pulled me to him.
“Jay was right about the story needing a feminine element. A strong heroine. Someone to round out the grit and machismo of all those swinging dicks.”
He was smiling down at me now. Hooking his hands beneath the hem of my shirt — or rather, Nathan’s shirt — until they were on my bare, thong-covered ass.