“HELLO?”
I blinked awake, as if coming out of a trance. Melissa was staring at me curiously.
“So are you going to go out with him again?” she asked, probably for the second or third time.
“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, I don’t think so.”
“And why the hell not?” she exclaimed. “You said he was gorgeous. And shredded. And a great kisser!”
“An amazing kisser,” I corrected.
“There you go!” she laughed. “So why not call him?”
You know why…
I took a very deep breath, one that I let out as a long sigh. “Well, it’s… it’s complicated.”
I laughed inwardly at my use of Kyle’s own explanation.
“Tell me why,” Melissa said. She looked at me intently for a moment, then her eyes went wide. “Oh shit!” she cried. “He’s married!”
“No, no,” I said. “Not married. No girlfriend either.”
“Do you have any objections to dating a soldier?”
“No…”
“Shit, neither would I,” Melissa smiled. She leaned back in her chair. “I’ve always wanted an Army boyfriend! Or even the Marines. Or the Navy. Or the—”
“There was something about him,” I said, “that just made him… off limits.”
She eyed me shrewdly, her straight dark hair falling over one eye. Melissa knew me well enough to know when I was hiding something. But thankfully, she wasn’t one of those obnoxious girlfriends who had to know everything. She also knew when to leave well enough alone.
“Alright then,” she sighed. “Back to the drawing board.”
I nodded as I shoved my face in my mug. Too bad.
“I still don’t know who shows up a half hour late to meet you,” she laughed. “I mean… what the hell was that guy thinking?”
“Dunno,” I laughed.
“You’re smart, you’re gorgeous, you’re successful…”
I shook my head. “I don’t feel smart. I don’t feel gorgeous either.”
And I’m not half as successful as you think… I thought glumly.
“Bullshit,” said Melissa. “You might feel that way, yes, but that’s only because you’re too hard on yourself.”
I knew my friend was doing her best to cheer me up. Right then though, I didn’t want it. I kinda wanted to be miserable. And I kinda wanted to just be alone. To think about Kyle…
She tapped the table with one painted fingernail. I could tell her mind was working again. “Still sure you don’t want me to set you up with one of Rich’s friends?”
“Nah.”
“I mean, it probably beats throwing at the dartboard of some random dating site,” she reasoned.
“I think I’m gonna sit tight for a while,” I said. “Leave well enough alone. I’m way too busy with work anyway. Dawn’s been putting the screws to me with all this commercial advertising, and I’m supposed to approve a whole bunch of stuff before I—”