Trading with the Boys

“Not to mention your garbage men,” I pointed out. “Don’t forget about them.”

Valerio ducked between two thick balsam pines and pulled our customer along with him. I felt jealous I was no longer holding her hand. Like he’d stolen her away.

“You know it’s not just about length,” I said abruptly. “You also need to get something that’ll fit your space.”

Sloane whirled on me, batting her eyelashes as she looked back at me slyly. “And do you have something that’ll fit my space?” she played along.

“Pretty sure I do,” I answered. “Yeah.”

“Hmm.”

God, she was making me crazy! So cute, so funny. But best of all, so damned sure of herself. I could totally picture her dragging a fully-decorated Christmas tree to the curb, and maybe even kicking it for good measure. It just seemed like something she’d do.

The next line of trees were douglas firs, and beautiful ones at that. We’d just gotten them in yesterday. They grew taller and wider as we continued on.

“Fourteen feet… fourteen feet…” Valerio was muttering to himself.

“Honestly, have you got anything bigger?” Sloane asked casually.

Her question forced the two of us to stop walking at once. Our customer giggled.

“Seriously,” she said. “All dick jokes aside, I’m looking to go bigger and better than the tree I had with whats-his-face. Even if it’s just a little bit.”

“Ah, so you want to upstage him,” Valerio nodded with a smile. “I get it.”

“You do?”

He spread his fingers across his chest. “Of course I do! I’m a man, aren’t I?”

“Well I guess so,” Sloane flirted back. “If I’m taking your word for it.”

Valerio went to say something else, but I’d already pulled her away from him. Ten steps later I stopped, grabbed her shoulders, and spun her in the direction of a ridiculously tall, incredibly beautiful tree.

“Whoa…!”

The word left her beautiful lips as a long, drawn-out hiss. It reminded me comically of something out of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

“This is the one, right?” I asked proudly.

“Yeah…” Sloane murmured. “It just might be.”

She walked around it in a semicircle, where it leaned against one of the long wooden tree-cradles.

“Do you actually have room for it?” I asked, a bit skeptically. “I mean some people don’t realize how—”

“I’ve got a top floor loft apartment with sixteen-foot ceilings,” she said, still staring at the tree. “And plenty of space for how wide she is.”

She. She was already personifying the tree in her own mind. I knew I had her.

“Yeah, well she’ll get even wider once she’s inside, and her boughs open up a bit more.” I reached into the center and grabbed the trunk. It took more than a little effort on my part to shake off the snow and spin it around for her.

“Wow,” said Valerio. “It doesn’t even have a bad side.”

“That’s the one then,” Sloane nodded happily. There was a twinkle of excitement in her eye that wasn’t there before. “I’ll take her.”

“Great!” I said, laying the tree back in its wooden cradle. “What are you driving?”

“A pickup truck,” she answered. “Long bed Ford, F-150.”