“I like Uno, but he will never be happy with Stephanie. But those two and I hate to say it, but they belong together.” I know what she says is true. Everyone tells me the same thing. She smirks. “So what’s this I hear about Cocky. I thought he was like your brother or something.”
“Stepbrother and there is nothing to tell there.”
“Your mouth says one thing, but your red cheeks and starry eyes tell a completely different story.”
“Stop. Do not go there with me right now. Shawn and I have a complicated past but I’m not looking to go back. I think relationships are off the table for me right now.”
MaryAnn gets a dark and serious look in her eyes. “Life is too short. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. If you have chemistry with that man…you owe it to yourself to explore it.”
“It’s not that. I mean he kissed me.” I exhale slowly as she perks up at that information. Hope fusses and she brings the tiny baby up on her shoulder and starts patting her back. “It was nice. Good even.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I was just involved with Justin and I don’t want to give Jimmy the impression that his Momma is a harlot kissing every man that comes around.”
“Well I’m just saying when he busted up in the club and come up on that stage…that was a look of a man in love.”
“I didn’t come over to talk about Shawn. I came to meet this little lady.” I get up when she covers her breasts and places Hope in her crib.
“My life has been nothing but talking about feedings and pooping. I love Ryan and am so glad he is such a good dad, but I need some adult talk too you know.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Sweet my ass. He is driving me crazy. He’s like a damn drill sergeant making sure I am sticking to our feeding schedule and keeping track of dirty diapers. I want the dirt. The good stuff. Being away from the clubhouse I don’t get all the good gossip anymore so details, woman.”
I shake my head. “Shawn is…I don’t want to lose him by taking a step neither of us are really prepared for. I need to focus on taking care of my son and getting back in school.”
“You’re not wrong but what if you miss out on something amazing because you are scared of what if. I think the question you should ask yourself is what if you don’t take the risk? Playing it safe doesn’t always work out.” I file her advice away for later. I’ve got to get Jimmy to the sitter and go to work.
We go into the living room to find Cupid and Jimmy asleep. Jimmy is on the couch with cookie crumbs and chocolate staining the corners of his mouth. Cupid is snoring in the recliner and a monster truck rally is showing on the TV.
“I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Me too. Hope’s perfect but I better get going. I still need to drop Jimmy off with his sitter.”
“You can leave him here with us. He’s sleeping good. I will make sure he eats something healthy for dinner and put him to bed later in the guest room.”
“Are you sure? I won’t be off till late.”
“Let him stay here. You can pick him in the morning. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to keep him.”
“Thanks. I really didn’t want to see Carmen anyways.”
“Carmen? How come?”
“Well…her daughter watches Jimmy sometimes for me and the other night there was an incident.” I tell her about the laundry room.
MaryAnn huffs out a breath. “Carmen has hungry eyes and sharp claws. Shawn was probably telling the truth.”
“Maybe but I have no right to even care.”
“You have every right if he’s important to you. You have your apartment to yourself tonight. You don’t have to marry the guy, but it wouldn’t hurt to get you a little either.” She smirks, and I shake my head. But honestly, warmth pools in my belly at the idea of spending the night with Shawn.
We say our goodbyes after I grab Jimmy’s stuff from the car. I always keep a change of clothes for him. I tell myself it is because I never know when he might spill something on his clothes or have an accident, but truth is I never know when Jim could show up and I’ll need to run again.
I send a quick text to Carmen to cancel on Marcella. Shawn’s message is still staring at me and I send him a quick and to the point text.
Melissa — I have to work tonight.