“Baby,” she whispers. “Does he know? Have you talked to him about this?”
“No, and I probably won’t have time to now. He left this morning, and if I hadn’t woken up, he wouldn’t have woken me to tell me. He’s just so busy, living his dream. And I can’t ask him to stop living his dream. Mom, I know you and Daddy never wanted dance to be my career, but you know how much this is my dream. I’m living it, I’m loving it. And this tour is the next big thing. And now with Tate doing all he wants, never asking for my advice or opinion, I don’t think I owe it to him anymore to ask him for his.”
I haven’t even gotten to tell him about the weird deliveries and notes I’ve been receiving. I haven’t even told Courtney. But every week, sometimes twice a week, I get a strange gift with some word note, saying it’s from my biggest fan. The truth is, I am afraid to tell anyone about them. That makes them more of a threat. If I don’t acknowledge them, maybe they will stop.
Mom is quiet for a while. “I understand your side, sweetie, I do. How about before you head out on this international tour, you come swing by home first, so we can at least say goodbye to you.”
I think on this a moment, and then agree. “Do you think you could pull some strings to get my ticket changed to tomorrow? I’m not due to leave for another few days, but there is no point in staying, since Tate isn’t here anyway.”
“Yeah, baby. I can do that. I’ll text you to let you know what time to be at the airport tomorrow.”
“Okay, Mom. Thank you. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
I put my phone down beside me on the bed and just simply cry.
This is it.
Tate and I are over, and I don’t know how to feel.
I’m numb.
Chapter 31
Tate
I
got home a day earlier than planned and go directly to Amaya. I hate that I was called away from our week together.
I walk into my place and don’t see her, but I hear noises coming from my bedroom. I smile and go directly there. “Babe,” I say pushing open the door slightly.
My heart drops when I see her packing already. “What are you doing?”
She jumps at my voice and turns to me, tears in her eyes. “You’re home early.” Is all she says.
“What’s going on, Amaya? You’ve been off this week, and what, you were going to leave before I even got home?” My heart is racing, I don’t like this feeling.
“I got offered a dream come true, and I’ve decided to accept it.”
“Okay, why couldn’t you just tell me this before? That’s great, I’m happy for you. You know I always wanted to see you achieve everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“It’s two years, international.”
My legs give out and I stumble slightly catching the wall before I drop. She’s leaving me. Part of me understands, I’m always so busy. Hell, this week was supposed to be all about us, and instead I’ve been swamped with my own career. She took time from her own career to be with me, and I couldn’t even take a break to be with her. Fuck. I fucked up. I fucked up bad. No, I more than fucked up.
I’m losing her.
I feel like I can’t breathe. Two years. Two fucking years. I swipe my hand across the dresser knocking the picture frames to the floor.
“Tate,” she says hoarsely.
“Yeah,” I choke out afraid of the words she’s going to say. We both know this isn’t working for either of us. I don’t know what to do or say. I love her but our timing is off. This week was supposed to be special, instead she’s been acting not like herself, then of course, I had to leave for that interview. We’re in different places. Our lives keep heading in different directions. She needs to finish school. I want her to pursue her dream of dancing professional ballet. She’s been so supportive of me making it to pro.
“This…I can’t do this anymore. I never see you. You never have time to take my calls. Or when I call it’s too late with the time difference. I’m happy for you. I am, and I’m not asking you to change or give anything up. I’d never do that to you. So, I’m asking you to let me go,” she spits the last sentence out with a guttural sob, and I lose it.
I grab her in my arms and hold her tight. We sink to the floor and I kiss her, her tears sliding inside my mouth.