Sacking The Player

If Tate wanted those things too, he sure had a funny way of showing me.

But still I needed him to choose for me. To force me to stay. I needed to hear the words. Instead he let me go. Maybe he was already looking for an out.

I’m so lost. I feel split in two. And right now, more than anything, I want my mom.

I need someone, anyone to tell me I did the right thing by getting on this plane. I feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I’m too proud to change it. I’m too proud to say I’m, sorry. I wanted him to choose me. I wanted him to meet me halfway.

My mom is waiting for me with her arms wide open when I get out of baggage claim.

For the first time in a long time, I throw myself into her arms, relishing in her comfort.

“I feel so lost,” I tell her as she rubs my back.

“It will work out, honey, it always does.”

I shake my head and pull back, wiping the stray tears that have escaped down my face.

“Are you hungry?” She asks with a sad smile.

I shake my head.

“Oh, my sweet girl, I know it hurts. I know” How could she know? Her and dad have been together since forever, she’s never dated anyone but him. So how could she know? I feel like snapping at her, instead I say nothing. She doesn’t know a damn thing about what I’m feeling.

We walk to the car, and I get in the passenger side. My dad is working. I can only stay overnight and probably won’t get to see him before I leave. It’s probably better that I don’t. I won’t be good company.

“Tell me about this tour. You know your father and me will have to cash in our vacation time to come see you. I can’t bear the thought of you so far away.”

“I know, Mom. I’d like that,” I tell her, meaning it.

“Maybe we can bring Tate?”

I thump my head against the window. I almost want to smack her right now.

She frowns. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I wasn’t thinking. I just can’t picture the two of you not together. You were so in love…”

“Yeah, we are.” I say are because, I love him so much, I can’t seem to breathe. I know he’s still in love with me, that’s what makes it hurt that much more. We love each other more than life, but it isn’t enough.

Nothing is.

We’re just over and I don’t know how to accept it.

I feel like I don’t even know him anymore.

He’s got his new life and I guess now I have mine. It just doesn’t include him in the way I had hoped.

Chapter 33

Tate

I’

ve been without her for most of my life, but I love her and now that she’s gone, I don’t know how to live without her by my side. I keep checking my phone to see if she’s called. I’m in agony. My world is crashing down all around me. She’s my reason for feeling so alive. Football used to be that for me, guess it should be again. I wanted to share my life with her. I wanted to marry her, but time wasn’t on our side. I stare at her picture on my contact list, my finger is hovering over the call button. But my pride won’t let me give in and call first. I throw my phone across the room and grab my sneakers. Time to hit the gym.

“Dude you’re pushing too hard. You won’t be worth a shit for the game.”

“Fuck off!”

Kent throws his hands up. “Fine, you want to fuck your game up over a woman be my guest. But that shit will cost you.”