But it feels much deeper than a physical attraction. Not that I have other relationships to compare to outside of my talking to Hunter for a week. Maybe I should forget Killian and give things with Hunter a real shot. To be fair I didn’t give him a chance. I was preoccupied with denying my feelings for Killian I didn’t allow myself to truly test the waters there. I gave him one date.
My stomach cramps and I want to cry. I feel too damn emotional. When I go to the bathroom I realize why. My period is here. Good news is I will get to start my birth control. Not that I am going to be needing it anytime soon. I thought Killian would be the one, but I don’t want to be another meaningless night on his calendar. I want to give myself to someone who doesn’t want anyone but me. When I come out of the bathroom Hayley is laying on my bed.
“I’m weak. I miss him, Liri.”
I take up the spot next to her. “There’s no rules that says you can’t talk to him. Call him. If he answers, then you talk to him. If he doesn’t then you give him a few days to return your call, but if he doesn’t then you have to forget him and move forward.”
“I can’t call him. Not tonight. He’s still pissed, and my emotions are so freaking raw. Every nerve in my body feels frayed.”
“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t insisted on forcing you to confront him, Killian wouldn’t have opened his mouth.”
“It’s not your fault. This is on me. I’m the one who was dishonest. I have to be the one to fix it. I don’t know how to do that. The hurt on his face. It split me in two. I’ve never had him look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like he hated me. What if I lose him forever? I love him so much, Liri.”
“Liam just needs time. He knows you love him.”
“What if love isn’t enough? It wasn’t for your mom and James or my parents. What if we are all doomed to fail in love? Maybe our family is cursed.”
“You don’t believe that. You need to sleep and regroup. Tomorrow is another day.”
“You’re right.” She nods and wipes at her eyes. “Do you mind if I hide out in here a little longer? I don’t want Mom to know I’ve been crying.”
“Totally. It’s fine. I’m going to roll right over and fall asleep.” Only I don’t. I lay awake long after Hayley has gone to the living room and think about Killian. Every encounter plays through my mind. The first time we locked eyes. I saw the devil in his eyes, and I fell in love. I think I knew right then that there was going to be something between us. He called to me. Of course he is handsome and charming, but it’s more than that. We have chemistry. That’s not something he can fake no matter how badly he wants in my pants.
He could have tried to sleep with me, but he didn’t. He’s the one who is always cooling things down when I get carried away and push for more. When I think about him with
Jackie though it makes my heart crack wide open. It’s completely crazy, but I love him, and I hate him for making me feel torn up inside. For splitting up Hayley and Liam for good.
Why does everything have to be complicated?
Chapter 27
Liri
“Liri, come on back. I’ll be doing your hair, and Rebecca is taking care of Hayley. Do you trust me?” Her question sends pain shooting through my heart. It reminds me of Kilian. Then again everything does.
“Sure, I don’t want to lose any of the length.”
My Aunt Sandy smiles at me through the mirror as she raises my chair. She has the same big boobs and blonde hair as Hayley only bigger. My eyes go big when I see her take out a pair of scissors.
“Don’t worry. I’m only going to get rid of your split ends and maybe give you some layers to give your hair some volume. You have hair like your father. I haven’t told him about your visit yet. I thought we could stop off and get some of his favorite foods and ease into the conversation that you are his daughter. How does that sound?”
“Perfect.” I try not to cry. Stupid period. Stupid hormones. I had wanted to invite Killian to come with me. I thought maybe it would be easier to go through with this whole thing if I had him next to me holding my hand. The thought feels so foolish now. I close my eyes and enjoy a day of being pampered while listening to all the local gossip.
Some chick named Amy is pregnant for the third time, but no one thinks the baby is her husband’s because he is nearly sixty and she is in her early thirties.
The Wheelers are getting a divorce after Monica caught Buddy with his pants around his ankles screwing the babysitter.
Some old school teacher passed away but no one liked her, and they all feel guilty for not sending any flowers.
Everyone in town is excited because a new Walmart is coming to the area.
The animal shelter is overcrowded and underfunded.
“Liri?” I open my eyes and find Susie smiling at me.