“You wouldn’t have gone to jail if you’d only stayed home and talked to me.”
“I went to the frat house.”
I ball my fist up at his words and exit the elevator. He follows me and gets his keys out with his left hand. I take them from him so I can open the door.
“How did you end up in jail?”
“I realized what an utter moron I was and decided to come home. I was pulled over on the way. I had to call my father and luckily the arresting officer was a fan and only took me in for public intoxication instead of a DUI.”
“Lucky for you.” I stomp to the bathroom and leave him sitting on the edge of the bed. I wash my face and brush my teeth. When I get back in the bedroom, he has kicked his shoes off and is laying on top of the covers.
“I understand if you want to leave me and go to Paris.” His arm is strung over his eyes and he sounds despondent.
“Why would I do that? I may be upset with you, but it doesn’t mean I want to leave you.”
“You should or you will when I tell you what happened at the party.”
I crawl onto the bed and lay next to him. My right cheeks is laying on the pillow. “Look at me.” He doesn’t. I grab his arm and jerk it away. “I said look at me, Killian. If you did something that terrible at least have the balls to face me.”
Slowly he turns his face toward mine. “I was at the frat house, and I grabbed a bottle of liquor and took it out on the balcony. I just wanted to be numb and not feel anything. Jackie followed me.” My heart sinks to my stomach like a rock in the bottom of a lake. “She asked me if we were still together.”
“And what did you tell her?”
“That I didn’t know. I figured you were pissed at me for walking out. But then I said it was none of her business. She laughed and said we lasted longer than she thought. Then she tried to kiss me.” Tears well up in the corners of my eyes and one slides down my cheek. Killian brushes it away. “I pushed her away, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. The stupid bitch offered to give me a blow job and promised she would never tell you.”
“Stop,” I croak, wiping at my eyes. “I don’t want to hear the rest.”
“I turned her down and got in my car. I couldn’t do that to you. Maybe I should have so you’d be smart and go to Paris.”
“Why do you want to push me away so badly?” I sniffle.
“Because I’m not good enough for you. Do you know that I wished cancer on my father for years? I wanted him to suffer like Mom did and now look, Liri. He has cancer.”
“It’s not your fault, Killian. You didn’t give him cancer.”
“I know that but tell that to my guilt.”
“You’re human. It’s natural to hate people and wish bad things on them sometimes. You didn’t mean it. You’re not a bad person, Killian. You were a hurt and confused little boy.” I press my lips to his and close my eyes. “If I fall asleep are you going to leave?”
“No, Liri. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good.” I curl my body into his and lay my head on his chest. I’m going to strangle Jackie next time I see her.
“Dad said the bar and grill is going to be closed today but you can come in tomorrow after your classes let out if you’d like to.”
“Okay. Are we okay?”
“I don’t know,” he answers and my heart cracks a little more.
“Do you really want me to go to Paris?”
“No.” His left arm tightens around me. “I would like it very much if you didn’t go to another country to get away from me.”
“Then stop trying to send me there.”
“Get some sleep, baby.”
Chapter 43