I stay outside to smoke, and Dillan hangs back and lights up his own cigarette. I never come here either—to my father’s house. “Did you guys set a wedding date?”
“Yeah, we did. New Year’s Day.”
“Congratulations.”
He cups the back of his neck. “Thanks. That means a lot. I wanted to ask you to be my best man. You can say no.” He takes a long hard drag.
“Seriously? Me? Don’t you have like a buddy or something?”
“Never mind. Forget it.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just we’re not even friends. You don’t even like me.” I bring my cigarette to my lips. I am trying to quit for Liri but being around my family makes me fucking anxious and the nicotine helps.
“I don’t even know you anymore, but I thought maybe we could start over.”
“I’ll do it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Maybe it’s time we try this whole brother thing again. I am kind of partial to the nickname Uncle Kill.”
Dillan laughs. “It is a kick ass name. When you have kids, I’ll be Uncle fucking Dill like a god damn pickle.”
“Don’t hold your breath. I don’t want kids until I’m at least in my mid-thirties if ever.”
“How’s’ Liri feel about that?”
“We’ve not gotten that far.”
“You’ll see. Her hanging around Noelle will give her wedding fever.”
“God. I hope not.”
My brother shakes his head. We snuff out our cigarettes and join the family for breakfast.
Inside the house my father is sitting at the dining room table reading his morning paper. He looks up at me and shoots me a smile. “The women are in the kitchen talking weddings. Enter at your own risk,” he warns.
“I think I will stay out here where it’s safe.” I pull out a chair and Dillan sits across from me.
“How’d it go last night with the girls? Did they wear you out?”
“Naw, they were good. We had fun.”
“I hope this means we are going to be seeing more of you. Liri too.”
“Maybe. I do have to step up my best man game.” Dillan and Dad share a look. “What?”
“Nothing. Just surprised that we didn’t have to con Liri into blackmailing you to agree.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know, son. I’m glad.”
Liri and Noelle come carrying large platters stacked with pancakes and the girls are helping by bringing the whipped topping and fruit. Susie brings a pitcher of orange juice and a pot of coffee. Everyone takes their seat and my father says grace.
“Dear Lord, we are feeling mighty blessed this morning. I thank you, Lord, for answering my prayer and bringing my family back together. We thank you for this food, the shelter over our heads, and clothes on our back. I thank you for my health and the ability to be here today to experience this. Amen.”
Liri squeezes my thigh and I let out a breath. It’s hard for me to be here, but I want to try. My family deserves a second chance. I know I need to reach out and repair things with my mother too. I feel guilty though. Liri is at odds with her parents. It doe