I arrive back at the room with the food and find Alexa sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in a thin towel with the air conditioner blowing. Jesus. “It’s freezing in here. What the hell are you doing?” I sit the food and drinks on the table then proceed to turn off the AC.
“If I can’t burn their touch away maybe I can freeze it.”
I go to my knees and take her trembling hands in mine. “I’d take it away. Make you numb to it if I could.”
“There’s one way you can make it go away.” Her teeth chatter as she speaks.
“And how’s that? I’ll do my best to do whatever it takes.”
Alexa holds my gaze. “Make me forget. Show me that not all men are bad and hurt. That sex doesn’t equal pain.”
My throat bobs as I swallow hard. “Can’t do that, Lex. One day when you’re older and wiser you’ll find a man who will treat you the way he ought to. Sex doesn’t equal pain, but it should come from a place of love and not just need. You’re hurting now, but in time you’ll fall in love.”
She jerks from my hold. “Don’t feed me that love bullshit. You don’t love your wife, but you still fuck her.”
“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. If I touched you right now, I’d be just as bad if not worse than the scum who hurt you. I’m not that man. I won’t be that guy.”
“I’m giving you permission.”
“You’re hurting. You don’t know what you want right now. You’re lost.”
“You said you’d do whatever it takes. So I’m begging you.” Alexa grabs my hand, bringing it to her chest, flattening the palm over her heart. “Do whatever it takes. Make it go away. Fix me. I don’t want to feel this way forever. Please. I don’t want to remember. Give me something to replace those thoughts.”
I drop my forehead against hers. “I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t.”
“Yeah,” I whisper the words against her lips, getting a taste of heaven and hell before I pull away. “You need to get some food in you.”
“I’m not hungry.”
I go over to the table and start putting the food out. Greasy burgers and fries. “You like chocolate milkshakes?”
“Sure.”
“Get some clothes on. I got one with your name on it with whip cream and a cherry on top.” I don’t wait for her to do as she’s told. I pull out a chair and start eating. At some point the bathroom door closes and opens again. I glance up from my food and see Alexa sitting across from me picking at her fries in her same clothes from earlier. “When we get back, I’m gonna drop you at the house with Rochelle. It’s up to you if you want to tell her anything or not about what happened to you, but I’m paying a visit to your old man and setting some shit straight.”
“No offense but you can’t expect me to want to go back to the scene of the crime.”
Fuck. She’s right. I didn’t even think about that. “Well I’ll take you back to the safehouse or get you another room until I figure out our next move. Shit is complicated.”
“Do we have to go back today? Can’t we just stay here?”
“Make you a deal. You give me that other name, and I’ll wait till morning before we go back.”
“I don’t know his name, but I do remember something about him.”
“What?”
“A tattoo. Um...on his hand. A lion’s head in color with a big fancy crown like one a king would wear.”
My stomach drops. “Anything else?”
She nods her head and takes a sip of her milkshake. “I know the sound of his voice and he smelled like um tobacco and a cough drop.”
“Menthol,” I growl.
“I guess. So, can we stay here for the night? A deal is a deal, right?”