I go through the apartment turning off lights and question whether to lock the door, but he has his keys with him if he decides to come back. I’m not going to chase after him. I don’t have the energy. I am mentally drained and all my sleeping in a chair at the hospital has caught up with me. I pick up the trail of dirty laundry we left along my way back to the bedroom.
I hear the doorknob turn, and I pivot meeting his guilty expression as he walks through the door. “I thought you left.”
“I wanted to.”
I nod and continue to put our dirty stuff in the hamper. In the bathroom I go through the motions of brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed. I don’t know what he’s doing. If he plans on coming to bed with me or sleeping on the couch. I catch his reflection in the mirror he’s in the bedroom getting a pillow off the bed.
I guess that answers my question. I close my eyes and count to ten. I don’t want to yell at him and drive him further away. I know he can’t help that he doesn’t remember that he loves me. I go into the bedroom intent on telling him that there is an extra blanket in the top of the closet but stop when I see that he was only remaking the bed.
“Which side do you prefer?” He’s wearing a pair of black drawstring pants that hang low on his hips.
“The right,” I answer over my shoulder as I open a drawer of the dresser and pull out a pair of panties. I slip them on and drop the robe.
Killian’s arm snakes around my waist, his chin meets my shoulder, and his breath blows on my neck. My nerves hum in awareness, and I hate that I am ready to just fall into his arms. “Then I’ll take the left.”
“Okay.” I move from his hold and grab a tank top and pull it down my torso covering my breasts.
He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. I get into bed and roll to my side. I’m so tired but can’t sleep. I want this to be over. I want us to pick up where we left off and move on, but part of me is still so damn angry with him over everything.
Hayley.
Liam.
The race.
The wreck.
We haven’t resolved any of our issues. I thought if he came back to me, I’d be able to let go of all those hurts, but the wounds still linger under the surface fresh as ever.
The bathroom door opens, and Killian turns off the light. I feel his gaze on me and roll to my back. “You’re upset with me.” The bed dips and the covers tug as he slips underneath them.
“It’s not important right now.”
“Tell me about that night. The night of the accident.”
“You sure you want to hear it?”
His hand finds mine under the covers and he pulls me toward him. My head goes to his chest and I breathe him in. Killian will be the death of me, but I need this. I don’t know how he knows that I need his arms holding me tight, but he gives me exactly what I want.
“Tell me about us.”
“We were fighting. It was bad. When we’re good nothing can come between us but when we’re bad it gets ugly. It was uglier than you can imagine. The night we first met you bet me in a race.”
“I did what?” his fingers rub along my shoulder.
“Gas or ass you called it. You told me you never lose. And lucky for you that night you didn’t. I wanted to hate you. I thought you were a cocky jerk, but a cute jerk. I got out of your car thinking I would never speak to you again, but you followed me to my door, and you kissed me. When you kissed me, I thought this guy is trouble because I want to kiss him forever.”
I peer up at him wanting his mouth, and he gives it to me. It’s innocent enough when our lips press together but his kiss makes me feel safe. Like nothing will come between us. I know that’s a lie but it’s one my heart will greedily hang onto.
“You thought I was a dork. You hated my clot
hes. Especially my leggings. Anyway, eventually you won me over, and I fell so madly in love with you. You were mysterious and broody, but so damn sexy.” I stroke my finger up and down his tattoo on his side. Three birds escaping from their cage. “We fought a lot but when we made up all the bad was worth it. I found out something about you. Something that cut me to the core. You lied to me about someone close to me. My cousin Hayley went to your high school. You had told me that you made out with her but nothing more than that. It was a lie—you fucked her on prom night.”
“Big boobed chick?”
“That’s the one.” I want to punch him in the nuts. Of course he remembers her. “She was dating Liam.”
“Who’s that?”