I’m back at East’s house for the weekend. Mom had this thing for her new job, and she was afraid that Darin would be at the house all weekend if she left me there on my own because last time that’s exactly what happened. East caught us when Mom randomly had him stop by to check in on me. Now I’m not allowed to stay home alone overnight. Mom is terrified that I’ll be like her I guess and end up pregnant and alone. I have no intentions of becoming a teen mom. Sure, Darin and I have fooled around but nothing outside of kissing and some touching. All over the clothes type stuff. Even when he stayed the weekend with me, we slept with all our clothes on.
I doubt he will ever touch me now, not after East put the fear of God and the Devil in him. He threatened to cut his thing off and feed it to him if he did so much as breathe funny. It was so embarrassing. I thought Darin was going to break up with me then and there, but he didn’t.
East called Mom and told on me. I was so mad at him. I don’t think I’d ever been truly mad at him until that moment. He’s always had my back and been on my side, but that day he was the enemy.
When him and Mom were dating, he tore out a closet and added a bedroom on for me. So I wouldn’t have to sleep on the pullout bed in the living room anymore. He let me choose any color I wanted so I chose a pale creamy yellow. He painted sunflowers on the wall for me. Him and my mom. Said he wanted me to feel at home here, and the sad part is I’ve always felt more at home here with East. Like nothing bad will ever touch me again.
Mom had a boyfriend when I was five who was pure evil. I think Johnny Ray Lycons was the Devil reincarnated. He was nasty and downright mean. Didn’t like Mom having to ignore him to take care of me. He hated me and I hated him.
One night good ol’ Johnny had been drinking or doing some drugs. Possibly both. I had a nightmare and wet my bed. I stumbled into Mom’s room in the middle of the night. He was holding her down on the bed and touching her. He looked up and saw me in the doorway. His thin lips puckered into a snarl and I could see the fires of hell blazing in his eyes.
“That brat is always in my goddamned way,” he roared. His fist came back and connected with her face. Mom cried out and I screamed. My dog started barking from downstairs. I don’t know what I was thinking but I ran straight at Jonny Ray like I could somehow pull him off my mom and protect her. It was the wrong thing to do. I should have run. Should have gone across the street to the Baker’s and got help but I was a kid. A stupid in the way kid. He caught me by the hair and shook me. His hand went around my throat and he squeezed so hard that some nights I wake up and think I can still feel his large hand wrapped around me. I wake up unable to breathe, but when I’m staying here at East’s house the nightmares don’t come. I forget all about Johnny Ray. I forget that Murder showed up and beat him to a pulp for what he did, for touching me, smacking Mom around, and killing my dog. I was scared for years that Johnny was gonna come back and want revenge on me.
He’s on my mind tonight though because my stupid-self decided I wanted to watch a scary movie. I’ve been in my room hiding from East because I’m still mad at him. I could be on a date with Darin tonight, but he said no. Said the roads were too bad, that he didn’t trust Darin’s driving. I called it a lame excuse but here I am in bed watching this movie scaring the shit out of myself because now Darin is mad at me and not answering my text messages.
It’s this movie where this teenage girl is on a getaway with her parents and she goes into town to meet up with her friend. They meet this cute boy, but it turns out his family is wanted for murder. It’s called Last House On The Left and it has scared the crap out of me. Now I’m terrified to go to sleep. I know East is still up. I heard him coming in from a smoke. He does his best not to smoke around me because I start gagging at the smell. It makes me think of stupid Jonny Ray and I wish he’d quit.
I shut the Tv off and lay in my bed tossing and turning trying to think happy thoughts. Trying to be excited that tomorrow I have dance practice because I know Darin won’t be able to stay away. He always shows up to drive me home after practice. I toss and turn more, trying to count sheep. Nothing is working. I go into the kitchen for a bottled water and all the lights are off, except for the glare from the Tv upstairs in the loft where East has his bedroom and a small sitting area. I creep up the stairs in case he’s a sleep. I don’t want to wake him.
East is kicked back on the couch. He’s shirtless and drinking a beer watching some movie. I can see all his tattoos on display. He’s an attractive man. I’d have to be blind not to notice his muscles and that sexy ink. I glance at his tattoos, cataloging them to memory. The skull and roses on his neck. The swirly pattern on his bicep. I memorize every visible inch. I glance at the screen. A woman is on her knees and I can’t look away. I know I shouldn’t watch. I know exactly what kind of movie this is. Last time I spent the night at Andi’s her brother was in trouble because their parents caught him watching dirty porno films on his iPad. The man pushes his erection into her mouth, and I swallow hard, looking to East. He hasn’t noticed me perched at the top of the stairs spying on him. I know this is so wrong, but I’m glued to the spot.
Holy hell. I should turn around right now or at least close my eyes, but I can’t. His hand slips into his pants. He’s touching his thing. Oh. My. God. East’s head goes back on the couch, eyes closed, lips parted. He shoves his pants down exposing it all, spreading his thick thighs that are dusted with dark hair. Fist wrapped around his thick cock he pumps. My heart beats fast in my ears. Emotions I’ve never felt before shoot through me. Sensations I don’t exactly understand, but I want him to notice me. I want him to know I’m watching. There’s something wrong with me. This is bad. I need to get far away from these stairs. My nipples harden, belly tightening. Warmth pools between my thighs.
My fingers move to my chest as the movie continues to play. I touch myself. Body tingling, I wish East were touching me.
“Take me all the way,” the man grunts and she suctions her lips tighter around him. Fingers gripping her head he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of her mouth.
East strokes himself faster. His thickness bobbing between his fingers.
I let out a shaky breath. Gaze focused on what East is doing my hand moves lower.
“You love my big cock,” the man on the screen continues.
The woman starring in the porno flick starts to moan, and I find myself being drawn closer to both the movie and to East.
East moves his hand faster and faster until he erupts on his stomach. Creamy liquid coats his hand.
I move closer, tongue darting out to wet my lips.
His eyes pop open when my shadow crosses the Tv.
“Fuck,” he growls. The deep sound of his voice washes over my skin and jolts through my every nerve. I part my lips and the two of us just stare at each other for an intense minute or maybe its mere seconds, but the spell breaks and he pulls his pants up and shuts the Tv off. Now we’re in the dark. I move toward him as he leans forward and rests his head in his hands elbows on his knees. “Just go to bed, Wylla Mae.”
“I don’t…I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to.”
“Fucking hell, just go to your room and let’s pretend this didn’t happen, okay? Can you make that happen for me, Lil’ Lady?”
I nod but my words don’t match. “Nobody’d have to know, East.” I go to him and drop to my knees having no clue what I’m doing, but I want to do to him what that woman was doing in the movie. I want to taste him. To lick him clean and for him to put his hands on me.
His dark eyes meet mine. “The fuck did you just say?” His beer stained breath fans over my lips.
“I said no one would have t
o know.” I lick my lips and put my hand on his knee. He jerks away from my touch as though I’ve burned him.
“Wylla Mae, only gonna say this once. You’re a kid. I’d go to jail. Now do us both a favor and march your ass down those stairs and we never speak of this again.”