“I reckon she ran off with that man. Nasty feller. I didn’t much like him. He had a funny look about him that one. Reminded me of the man that first brought you and dropped you off when you were probably I don’t know, I think you were three or four. You was a tiny thing.”
“Where did she go?”
“Can’t say to be sure. Out of town though. Left last week. Loaded up her car and was gone. Stiffed Jimmy on this month’s rent too.”
“You said a man dropped me off when I was a child? Who was he? Are you saying my mother didn’t always have me?”
“That’s right. She lived here for about six months or so I’d say before she got you.”
“Thanks Deloris.” I give her a gentle hug. What in the actual fuck, am I supposed to do with that information?
“Wait, why aren’t you with your mom?” She eyes me curiously; her glasses magnifying her tiny, weathered eyes making them appear large.
“Long story, I’ll come back soon.”
I help her to her chair and get her some water before I go. I worry about her being so old and alone.
Looking over at the house that was once my sanctuary and my worst nightmare I can’t help but be drawn to it. Walking through the gate, I take a deep breath. It feels as though I have not been here in years instead of a few months. I step on to the small wooden porch with the white paint peeling; the dark wooden front door looks so cold and uninviting. I smile though when I see a hint of red and pink from where Kai and I painted over Penny’s ‘artwork.’ Kai and I were just getting to know each other better; he was being so sweet to me.
The door opens suddenly and Jimmy—the property owner comes out with trash bags.
“Hey kid, did your mom send you to pay me?”
“Uh no, I came here looking for her but she moved I guess?”
He scratches his beard. “Well must be why she left this stuff.” He sits the bags down by my feet. “There’s a few boxes left too, if you want to go through them.”
“Sure, thanks Jimmy.”
“No problem. Got a new tenant coming by tomorrow
to look at the place. Anything you don’t want just sit it on the porch and I can toss it for ya.”
“Okay,” I say and he opens the door for me, leaving me alone so I can look in private.
The living room is barren along with the rest of the house, other than my old bedroom. I open the boxes Jimmy was referring to and wow…my mom left my baby pictures, and anything that belonged to me or serves as a memory of me. I guess she is finally letting me go. There isn’t much really, but I don’t have the energy to sort through it all right now. I take the boxes and bags stuffing them in my trunk. Maybe the Coopers will let me store this stuff in the attic, or their garage, or something, though I probably have room in my gigantic closet.
We haven’t really talked about what my plans are after graduation in a few weeks. I haven’t applied to any colleges and Kai hasn’t said anything about my coming to LA. He isn’t even sure where he is going to be in a few weeks. They are focusing on getting their first single cut in time to join the Lords of Rock tour as an opening act. I think the tour kicks off near the end of May in Seattle.
Penny has been begging me to move to Georgetown with her. She is going to school there in the fall. It is a tempting offer. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. I can’t just sit around and pine away after Kai while he is chasing his dream.
I drive to my home for now, and think hard about what I want. I can’t see anything beyond Kai. He has become my world and I am not sure that is a good thing. I have lost myself in him. When I go to bed, I am dreaming of him and when I awake, he is the first thought I have.
I park my car next to Kai’s and smile wondering how his day in the studio has been going.
Kirk is at the counter when I come through the kitchen. “Happy Birthday Katie.” He smiles reaching me a cupcake. “No big plans tonight?”
“Nah, I am getting up early to help decorate the gym for prom.”
“Guess you are bummed Kai won’t be taking you,” he says.
“I don’t mind. He has a good reason. I’m going to go stag with Raven.”
“Have fun with that,” he says with a snort, rolling his eyes. On that note, he leaves me alone with the cupcakes and I eat way too many of them feeling sorry for myself and thinking about my mom, if she even is my mom…
Bloated and sad I crawl into my bed and cry missing Kai, missing his arms holding me tight, making everything else disappear.
I pull out my phone and send him a text.