“So where does this leave us? You still hate me?”
“Do you think I could ever really and truly hate you? You leaving and just vanishing when I needed you most…it hurt. It still hurts. It’s a wound I thought would never heal but our talk…this tonight, here with you, I think it’s possible to let go of the past.”
“Good.” I pick up the oar handles. “I should get you back.”
Silence stretches between us. I don’t want to go back. I want to take Peyton away from this place and simply disappear.
We make it to the boathouse, and I stroke her cheek. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about the baby. I mourned that loss. I mourn it till this day. I would have loved being a father to our child. It would have been hard because we were young, but…”
“I know,” she whispers, softly. I move in to kiss her and she stops me. “Not yet. I’m still processing it all.”
I nod, but the rejection stings.
Her fingers brush against mine. “It’s not a no. It’s just a not right now.”
Chapter 25
Peyton
Jameson and I sneak back into the house undetected. I don’t know where we stand, but I am glad he forced me to talk about our past and get things about the baby out in the open. I thought he didn’t know but after hearing his side, Barb has some explaining to do. I can’t do anything about her from here, but once I am done with this show she’s going to hear from me. She possibly killed my baby. Yeah, I was young, but she had no right to make that choice for me. I can’t even think about the fact that my father possibly knew or had a role in any of it.
Jameson did what was best for him at the time, and as much as I want to be upset about it, I find I no longer can be. I finally have closure between us and know why he really left. I change out of my clothes from the show and get into my pajamas. It’s getting late, and tomorrow is the premier of the taped shows. They are running them back to back. Apparently, Harvey Grant has a real hard on to get this show off the ground. Knowing that I have a contract waiting at the end of the show for me regardless takes some of the magic out of it, but it is what it is. I just have to make the most of the opportunity and use it how it is intended—a stepping stone to the next level.
As I lay in bed, I can’t get Jameson off my mind. The sadness in his eyes when he told me his version of the last night that we were together. I believe him about Barb. About everything. I was blinded with grief. The loss of the baby and losing Jameson. It was all too much for me. At the time I only considered my feelings. I never thought about how any of it could be affecting him. I don’t know what I’m doing but my feet carry me from the bed and out the patio doors to Jameson’s matching set. My fist is tapping against the glass and his face is before mine as he opens the door. He’s shirtless in a pair of grey sweats that hang dangerously low on his hips. Sweet lord he looks so fine.
“What are you…,” is all he manages to get out before I am placing my finger to his lips, silencing him.
“No talking. We’ve done plenty of that.” I push him back into the room, stepping inside, and closing the door behind me. I don’t stop pushing Jameson backwards until he hits the bed and only then do I remove my finger from his lips. Shoving him down by his shoulders, I straddle his lap as he sits on the edge of the bed. His thick tattooed arms wrap around my waist and I bring my mouth down on his, parting my lips, seeking his tongue with my own. Our shared years of pent up frustration comes pouring out of us. The past colliding with the present and possibly the future. His tongue sweeps through my mouth tasting like home. This man feels like where I belong. Sliding his hand up my back, he holds me closer.
“You have no idea how many nights I’ve dreamed of this. How badly I’ve wanted this.” His warm breath tickles my ear.
“Shh. I said no talking. Just feel, Jameson. Feel me right here right now,” I whisper into his mouth, kissing him again, unable to get enough.
I give you my all
All my love
My heart
My body
My soul
I give you all the pieces of me
There is no other love but yours
Take all I have to give
My heart
My body
My soul
/> All this love I give only to you
“You feel so good in my arms.” Jameson turns and lays me back on the pillows. His mouth never leaves mine as his fingers touch my skin, skimming along my stomach and up toward my chest until he reaches my bare breasts. A possessive growl rips from his throat when he realizes I’m not wearing a bra. Dragging his tongue down the slender column of my throat he nips at me with his teeth, repeating the motion across my shoulder and back down my chest as he raises my thin white ribbed tank up over my head. “Fuck, Fancy. Nothing will ever compare to this. To you.”