“You thought what, Aria?” He pulls back from me and I don’t blame him. My assumption must feel like a smack to the face.
“I thought you were in here with her. I didn’t stick around to find out what was happening. So, when you called me I ignored it.”
“Don’t you trust me? I would never hurt you. I told you I would try, and I meant it. I stand by my words, you of all people should know that by now.”
“There’s more. My mom passed away. I was so hurt and confused. I am still hurting. But, it's no excuse for what I’ve done. You aren't going to want me anymore.” My tears start spilling over the brims of my eyes. “I called Brian, and he came here for the funeral. I had every intention to tell him about Jace, but somehow I ended up in his hotel room.”
“Just stop Aria! I don’t need to hear the rest. God!” He spins around and punches the wall. Next, he goes kicking the couch.
“Please Tyler, I need to explain what happened!” I grab a hold of his arm, but he pulls away from me.
“Don’t touch me right now,” he warns, his voice thick with emotion. The vein in his neck is pulsing.
“Please Tyler, just listen to me!” I drop to my knees, my sobs hiccup in my chest as he looks at me with a darkness in his eyes I have never seen.
“Aria, I told you to choose, and if you chose him I would walk away; this is me caring enough to do just that.” His fingers brush the top of my hair and for a moment I think he’s going to stay. “I might have loved you,” he whispers, and I die on the inside hearing those words.
Watching him walk away is so hard. I want to run after him and make him see. I don’t love Brian. I want him and only him. I need Tyler to understand.
I need him.
Jace needs him.
Instead, I stay frozen in place, hoping and praying he will walk back through the door and tell me it’s okay. I keep waiting but he doesn’t return. Dropping to my ass, I didn't think it would hurt this bad.
Why do I ruin everything? It’s as though I sabotage my own happiness at every turn.
I finish out the rest of my shift without seeing him anymore. I am pretty sure he has left for the night. I pick my little man up from Caroline’s even though he is supposed to be spending the night. I don’t want to be alone tonight.
I don’t explain to Caroline, I just hug my son tight to my chest and cry while he sleeps.
Later that night, I’m looking through some old pictures of my mom reminiscing and feeling sorry for myself.
There is a knock on my door, and I get excited thinking Tyler must have changed his mind. He’s come to tell me he that he can forgive me. But it isn’t Tyler.
I open my door to a broken Brian, this is not the way I last saw him. His hair looks greasy; there are purple circles under his once beautiful green eyes. Now they are dull, lifeless even. I don’t need to ask to know why he is here; he knows the truth. I can see it written all over his face.
“What gives you the fucking right to make a decision like that for me? Just who in the hell are you Aria? What kind of person does that, and to their child? I had every right to know! Every fucking right!” Brian goes down on one knee clutching his chest like he can’t breathe. He’s so angry and has every right to hate me.
“Just calm down! Let me explain, please don’t wake Jace.” I take a step towards him and he flinches back, like I disgust him.
“Why don’t you calm the fuck down? Your days of making my choices are over. I want to see him Aria! I want to see my son.” He staggers forward as he gets up.
I hold my palms up. “Okay. You will see him, but not like this. Not while you are upset. And not when you have been drinking. I won’t allow it Brian.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t talk down to me like I am a child you are taking pity on. You can’t keep him from me any longer! Jace, daddy’s here!” he shouts taking a step towards the hall. Tripping over his foot, he catches his balance on the couch.
Taking a step in front of him while holding my hands up, I beg him, “Brian please, just stop and think for a moment. If you go barging into his room shouting and waking him up, you will scare the piss out of him. He doesn’t know who you are. I’m sorry for that, I am.”
He interrupts my attempt at an apology. “Why didn’t you tell me, was I not good enough for you?” He looks so lost right now, the boy I have loved my whole life is staring at me like we are strangers. He is breaking my heart all over again.
“Brian, you were my everything. I wanted a better life for you than what my dad had. Can’t you understand that? I wanted you to live your dream and you did, you still can if you pull your head out of your ass!” I grit my teeth in frustration; this isn’t how I pictured our conversation turning out. “How did you find out about Jace, who told you?”
“Didn’t you see the picture of the two of you sitting next to my boss, Marty Walsh, in the newspapers? It only took me one look at the picture to see that he is mine!” He is pacing the floor and not to swiftly in his drunken stupor.
“Brian, please!”
“It wasn’t your choice to make Aria! You’re a selfish bitch. I would have been, no, I am going to be the best dad. Tomorrow, I am calling my lawyer, I have rights. I won’t try to take him from you, like you have me. But, he will know me, and you can’t stop it.” With one fist clenched and his other hand open, he is pointing his finger directly at my nose, practically ramming it in my face.