When Jackson finished eating, he ran off to his room to change out of his pajamas, leaving Melissa and me at the table. She traced a circle against the surface of the table with the tip of her finger, her eyes down.
“So, about last night,” I started.
She bobbed up to look at me and shook her head. “It’s fine. Let’s just forget about it, okay?”
I didn’t want to let it go, but I couldn’t risk arguing with her again. Everything between us was still too raw and mixed up. We needed a day of peace to regather our strength. “All right. Forgotten.”
“Are we really going to another beach?” Melissa snarked. “’Cause you can’t tell him things and then not follow through.”
“I know,” I replied, biting back my irritation at her explanation. As though I knew nothing about kids. “I wouldn’t lie to you or to Jackson. We’re going to head down the coast a little further, put some distance between us and Cabo, and when we stop for supplies, we’ll take a couple of days to make a long-term plan. While I figure things out, you and Jackson can be sure to get lots of beach time.”
Melissa nodded slowly, turning over my words. “All right. Thank you. For helping with him, I mean.”
“Not a problem.” I turned my attention to my oatmeal and took a big scoop.
She pushed off the table and left the dining area to go help Jackson get ready for the day. I despised the frosty feeling left between us but knew there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I didn’t even know her well enough to gauge how long to expect her to keep me at arm’s length. We didn’t have any history for me to base my guess on.
I’d just have to wait and see, and in the meantime, keep chipping away at the ice until she let me back in again.
If she let me back in again.
19
Melissa
“Mama, I’m going to catch the biggest fish you’ve ever seen!” Jackson exclaimed as he wriggled free of his pajama shirt with Spiderman splashed across the front in a bold, graphic print. It was his favorite and he’d slept in it every night since we’d arrived on the boat. I was going to have to wrestle it away from him for a night so I could wash it and let it drip dry. I hadn’t seen a washer and dryer on board. “Mama?”
“Yes, sorry sweetheart. I was listening.” I picked up the discarded shirt and traded it out for a fresh t-shirt.
“What’s the biggest fish you’ve ever seen?” he asked, his expression so intent that I had to bite back a giggle.
“Probably this big,” I said, holding my hands and arms out about the distance of the fish he’d caught the other day with Chase.
He studied my gesture and then nodded; his mind made up. “Okay! Chase will help me.”
I laughed. “I’m sure he will.”
Jackson finished dressing and I ran a comb through his too-long hair. “Do you think Dad knows how to fish?”
I drew in a breath at the mention of Henry. Jackson brought him up so sporadically that when he did, it was a shock to my system. Henry was dwelling in the back of my mind, on a permanent residency, but he didn’t appear to be the biggest thing on Jackson’s mind. Which was both heartbreaking and a relief at the same time.
“I think so, honey. But probably not as well as you do!” I smiled at him, infusing as much happiness as I could into my voice.
Jackson beamed. “I’ll teach him.”
I nodded and swiped at Jackson’s hair. My stomach clenched at the sweet face before me. I hated that I had to keep lying to him. “Why don’t you go see if Chase needs help cleaning up after breakfast?”
“Okay, Mama.” He gave me a hug and ran out of the room we shared. Once he was gone, I shut the door, and lay down on the bed.
What the hell are we going to do? Of all the questions in my mind, that was the one that yelled the loudest. Chase had laid out his plan. We’d go to another beach, hunker down, and hope for the best. But what if Henry’s men found us there too? How many times would we have to run away in the middle of the night? How many close calls would we face? Would I ever wake up from this nightmare I’d fallen into?
I squeezed my eyes closed. I wish I knew.
I let myself wallow for another handful of minutes before pushing off the bed and going to make sure that Jackson was occupied. He was on the top deck with Chase, scanning the horizon and practicing his pirate vocabulary. Before either of them spotted me, I tiptoed away and went back down below.