“Come on, spill the secret,” I said with a wave of my hand.
Chase reached around behind him and dug something from his back pocket. When he brought his hand around to show Jackson, two pairs of snorkeling goggles dangled from his fingertips. “I picked these up a few days ago. Today looks like the perfect day to give them a try.”
Jackson erupted with a loud cheer. “Yay!”
Chase grinned and handed a pair to Jackson who clutched them to his chest like they were made of gold. “I thought we could all use a day at the beach. One of the locals told me that just on the other side of the canal, there’s a trail that leads to a small gulf. Now, it’s not the Great Barrier Reef or anything, but from what the guy told me, there’s lots of fish and different plants to check out. What do you say, buddy?”
Jackson continued to cheer his overwhelming support of the idea and I nodded, knowing that Chase would keep him safe. “What about you, Mom?”
I grinned at him and the secret smile we shared. “Sounds like the perfect way to spend the day.”
Chase flashed a wide grin at me before he reached back behind him and pulled out a third pair of goggles. “I’m glad you feel that way. I got a set for you too.”
We spent the day out at the inlet that Chase had described. He was a natural in the water, which made sense considering his SEAL training. He helped me and Jackson learn to use the snorkels and we spent a few hours exploring the shallows. When my skin officially crossed over the line from wrinkled to raisin, I got out of the water and found a smooth boulder to perch myself on. It worked as a makeshift beach chair and gave me a clear vantage point of the swimming hole to watch Chase and Jackson play.
The gentle breeze and birds chirping was like listening to one of those white noise machines and eased the stress I’d been carrying since finding out about the baby. The night before, spent in Chase’s bed had been a healing balm and though this morning had been a near disaster—I felt better and calmer than I had in days.
I let my mind wander back to thinking about what it might be like if Chase and Jackson and I never went back to California. The cottage wasn’t the ideal place to bring home an infant, mostly because the nearest hospital was a boat ride away, but there were plenty of other places that we could settle down. It was a thought I’d had before finding out about the baby but became even more interesting in light of the fact that—planned or not—I was having Chase’s baby.
A full week had passed since I took the pregnancy test. And with each day, the weight of the secret got a little heavier to carry. Why hadn’t I gathered the courage to tell him last night? It would’ve been the perfect time. I couldn’t wait much longer—and sure as hell hadn’t known him long enough to even attempt to guess at how he’d respond. He was a dream with Jackson. Most men I knew kept their children at arm’s length. At least at Jackson’s age. Chase wasn’t even Jackson’s father but had spent more time with him over the past month than Henry probably had in the last two years.
Sitting on the rock, watching them play and laugh together, I remembered what it was like the day I’d told Henry we were having a baby. His birthday fell a week after I took the test. Somehow I’d managed to keep the secret to myself for a whole week and waited until his birthday dinner to surprise him with the news. I went to great lengths to make it a big production, a special memory for us to cherish. Forever. All of our friends and family gathered for his birthday dinner at his favorite steak house. At dinner, I told him I would give him his gift in the car. He made a crass joke about me giving him a blowjob in the backseat. Everyone had laughed. After dinner we got into the back of his town car and I presented him with his gift. Inside the wrapped package, I’d stashed the positive pregnancy test.
I smiled sadly at the memory. It was so bittersweet. We’d been so in love and head over heels about starting a family. Henry had immediately launched into upgrading to a new house with more space for our future child. We made love that night, slow and sweet, and when I fell asleep on his chest, we were batting back and forth name ideas for each gender.
“God, how delusional…” I chided myself and pushed off the rock I’d been using in lieu of a beach chair. I brushed off the back of my legs and adjusted my bikini. My stomach was still flat but I knew it wouldn’t be long before it started to show the baby growing inside. I laid my hands over my bellybutton and wished I could feel the heartbeat. It would anchor me and remind me that everything was going to be all right.