His other hand went back into my hair as he moved faster, his lips close to my throat.
“Every second I spent near you back then was torture. But every second since has been even worse. I would die for you, Penny. I would kill for you, and I have. Again and again, I’ve murdered for you, and I’ll keep on slaughtering until everyone that ever hurt you is lying cold in the earth. You’re mine, your body is mine, your soul is mine, and your heart will be mine. I will devour you and make you come, again, and again, and again.”
I felt the pleasure peak as my fingers dug into the wood. I saw him reflected in the glass, his eyes almost glowing with need. My body was his to control, to command, to do with as he pleased, and I loathed him, my chest filled with venom and rancor, as pleasure ripped up my spine.
I came in a spark, a meteor shower. The rage, the repulsion, the incredible ecstasy and the thrill of him taking me all mixed into a heady rush. I saw flashing lights, nearly collapsed, but he caught me, held me tight, fingers still slowly rolling around my clit as my orgasm finished.
I wanted to punch him in the throat but couldn’t work up the strength.
He kissed my lips. I kissed him back.
Confusion mingled with desire mingled with grief.
How could I want this from a man like Kaspar?
He stalked me. Hounded me until I gave him what he wanted.
Then he killed my roommate and claimed it was for my own good.
Now he wanted to force me into marrying him.
I should’ve screamed in his face with unabashed malevolence.
Instead, I pressed my face against his chest and listened to his breath as I buttoned my shirt again.
“You’ll see, my treasure,” he whispered softly like a feather on my bare spine. “I did it all for you and I’d do it again. You hate me now, but you’ll understand. I suffered for you, went through hell and fought my way back. Every second without you is agony, and every moment you hate me is even worse. I’ll fix it, I promise I will.”
I pulled away from him. My knees trembled.
“Will you bring Alice back?”
My words cut him. I saw the pain in his expression. I didn’t feel good about that.
“No, I won’t.”
“Then you can’t fix anything.”
I pushed past him and left the shed.
18
Penny
Present Day
Near Chicago
We left the farm two days later.
There was no warning. I woke up thinking it’d be another boring afternoon of staring at corn and sketching, but instead I found the place nearly empty. Kaspar helped me pack, ushered me into a car, and we drove off.
“Where is everyone?” I asked, gawping at the quiet land.
“Getting into position.” He stared out the window. We’d barely talked since he got me off for a second time.
I was still processing what he’d said.
About doing it for my own good. About how badly he hurt.
It was hard for me to feel sorry for the bastard.
“You’re attacking her soon, aren’t you?”
“Today. We’re hitting a few of her spots throughout the city.”
“Are you going to kill her?”
“If I find her, yes.”
“And what will that accomplish? You’ll just start another war. Wasn’t my brother’s war with Roman bad enough?”
“You’ll understand soon.”
I let out a derisive snort. “You keep saying that. Like you can’t just explain it to me.”
He turned, his eyebrows raised. “You think I’m a liar and a murderer. You think I’m a psychotic monster. Why would I think you’d listen?”
“Because most people start with a conversation before they progress to burning down a powerful Oligarch.”
“I’m not most people.” His gaze was hot fire and lightning on my skin and I shirked away, afraid of what he might do.
“I know you aren’t, and that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
“You haven’t given me a reason not to be.”
“My hands between your legs aren’t enough? My lips and tongue drinking you down and making you come?”
I flushed and glanced at the men sitting up front. They didn’t react, as if they couldn’t hear what we were saying.
“None of that matters, okay? That’s just… it’s just sex. It’s physical.”
“Nothing’s just physical with you, Penny. If you didn’t want me on some level, you wouldn’t take what I give you. Don’t pretend as though I’m alone in all this.”
My fists trembled as I looked out the window. He was right and I despised him for it. I wanted him, and I couldn’t deny it.
He wouldn’t even give me that much.
We drove into Chicago on a balmy afternoon. The wind blew strong through the city. We parked outside a nice downtown hotel and he took me up to the penthouse, a massive eight-bedroom apartment that must’ve cost $20,000 per night.