“And look at you now,” Keane says. “You’ve got the red hair to make my nickname a premonition.”
“So sorry, Amy,” Maddy says, but she’s clearly loving her husband’s sense of humor.
“No worries,” I say. “Considering what a little weirdo I was as a kid, I think I got off easy with that nickname.”
“You were a cute little weirdo,” Keane says, and warmth spreads into my core. I knew I liked this man, after watching him online for hours and hours. But just this fast, I know I absolutely adore him.
Colin and Fish get up to grab drinks, and Dax engages Keane and Maddy in a conversation about some upcoming trip to Seattle. So, while all that’s happening, Violet, scoots closer to me, pulling her son, Jackson, who’s still sitting on her lap, along with her.
“I love your new do, Amy!” Violet says. “You have the perfect coloring to pull off red hair!”
“I was just about to say the same thing,” Alessandra interjects, sitting on my other side.
“Thank you so much. I’m so happy to see you both. I had such a great time with you last weekend.”
“So did we.” Violet cranes her neck to address the little boy in her lap. “Jackson, this is Auntie Amy. Say hello.”
“Hello, Auntie Amy.”
Oh, my heart. Without hesitation, I launch into conversation with the kid about his cool light-up shoes. But when the FaceTime call ends and Fish takes a seat—an armchair—Jackson abruptly stops talking to me, slides off his mommy’s lap, and beelines over to his Uncle Fish’s lap.
“Don’t be offended he dropped you like a hot potato the minute Fish’s lap became available,” Violet says, laughing. “Jackson’s been obsessed with his ‘Unkie Fish’ since day one. When Jackson toured with the Goats as a baby, Fish was the only one who could get him to fall asleep for two solid months.”
“Aw, that’s so cute.”
“I think I’m going to grab a bite in the kitchen,” Violet says, standing up. “You ladies want to come, too?”
“Yeah, sounds great,” I say, as Alessandra says the same.
And off we go.
In the kitchen, I grab a plate and begin loading it with appetizers, but before I’ve completed my task, both Violet and Ally lean over the island counter and energetically ask me what’s going on with Colin.
“Are you two on a date tonight?” Violet asks, her blue eyes sparkling.
“No, we’re just friends,” I reply, my tone conveying my disappointment. “I’m his plus-one tonight.” When both women frown, I add, “It’s okay. Colin’s not interested in anything more than that, so . . . Such is life.” I smile. “So, hey, ladies . . .” I put down my plate and lean over the island opposite them, my energy matching theirs. “Feel free not to answer this question, if it’s too personal, but . . . are either of you familiar with a sexual technique called The Sure Thing? Keane has a ‘Ball Peen Hammer’ video about it, in which he says the technique gives woman ‘honey bunches of O’s’ in a short period of time.”
Violet and Alessandra laugh.
“Oh, Keane,” Violet says. “Yes, I’m very familiar with that technique. Ally?”
Alessandra blushes, looking far less comfortable with this topic than Violet, but she nods and says, “I’m very familiar with it, too.”
“And it works?”
Both women smile and nod.
“Wow. I’d never even heard of it before Colin mentioned it to me last weekend at the wedding! I googled it and wound up watching Keane’s video on it, several times. Does Keane’s technique work as well as he said, or did he exaggerate?”
“I’ve never seen Keane’s video on the topic,” Violet says. “Dax told me never to watch it.” She laughs. “But if Keane says the technique gives women ‘honey bunches of O’s’ in a short period of time, then, yes, I can confirm it works, as promised.”
“Holy crap.”
“It’s not ‘Keane’s technique,’ by the way. His two older brothers, Colby and Ryan—but mostly Ryan, from what I’ve been told—came up with the technique years ago and named it, and then told the younger guys how to perform it.” She smirks. “Of course, since Keane’s the big YouTube star, he gets all the credit for being the Godfather of The Sure Thing. But Dax said the lion’s share of credit goes to his brother, Ryan. I’m not surprised by that. Ryan’s extremely . . . How shall I put this, without embarrassing myself? Alpha?” Violet giggles and leans onto the kitchen island again, a smirk on her gorgeous face. “Why are you asking about this, Amy? Are you hoping Colin will do The Sure Thing to you?”
Hell yes, I think. Instead, what I say is, “No, that’s not going to happen. Colin and I had a drunken kiss at the wedding. But after that, we talked about it, and he decided we’re only going to be friends. I asked about the technique because, if it’s real and works the way Keane said, then I’m planning to find someone, someday soon, to do it to me. Admittedly, I would have preferred that someone to be Colin, but I’ve accepted that’s not in the cards. So now, my Plan B is to find someone nice and cute, someone I like a lot, who could watch Keane’s video and make it happen for me.”