I hesitate, and it hurts her more. She becomes as still as a mouse with her jaw tight. “You think I’m a part of what happened to you, don’t you? A part of the abduction. A part of your imprisonment.” When I don’t speak, her face breaks. “Answer the damn question. Do you think I was involved?”
“You can’t blame me for having questions.”
“No, I don’t. It’s what you’re not saying that hurts. I wasn’t involved with you being brought to the hotel. My father manipulated me into helping Sunshine, and I didn’t know about his plans to abduct you. You know all of this.”
“Then why, Lily? Why did you stay? Why didn’t you come with me?”
“I didn’t have any choice.”
“Yes, you did. We could’ve left together.”
“We both know it was better for you to leave without me. You know my knee would’ve slowed us down, and by me staying, I was able to cover your absence for hours before my father worked out you were gone. It gave you the time to find the phone box and get to safety.”
I don’t tell her about the phone being vandalized or about stumbling through the snow and wind for hours until Meg and Luther picked me up.
“But you went with him willingly afterward. Packed up your belongings. Even had a chance to ask your neighbor for help, but you didn’t.”
“You spoke to my neighbor?”
“I know you didn’t ask her for help.”
“Because I couldn’t.”
“Why, Lily?” My voice has risen, and it’s upsetting her, but I can’t help it. I need to know the truth. I need to know if it was all a lie, and if what I feel for her is based on nothing more than that lie. She tries to turn away, but I take her by the arms, so she has to face me. “All the chances you had to get away, but you didn’t.”
“I had no choice.”
“You keep saying that, but you don’t explain it to me.”
“Because it’s better if you don’t know.”
My entire body tenses, forcing me to take a step back. “What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t want to talk about it.”
We’re arguing, and it’s not getting us anywhere. I take a deep breath and hold it in my lungs for a second before slowly releasing it.
“Was any of it real?” I ask with a weird calmness. “You, me… what happened between us? Did any of it mean anything to you?”
“How could you think it wasn’t—”
“Because you’re the daughter of the man who abducted me, and given the chance to escape, you ran to him instead of running with me.” I can’t stand it anymore, and I reach for her wrists. “Why did you choose him and not me!”
She glares at me. “Fuck you, Doc. Fuck you and your suspicions.”
She shakes free of my grasp and heads for the door. Just as she yanks down on the handle, I come up behind her and push it shut, pinning her between me and the wood.
For a moment, neither of us move, and the only sound is our rushed breathing.
I have her caged because I know I can’t bear her walking away, but it’s me who’s trapped. Her scent torments me, and the feel of her body so close to mine is torture. Her hair brushes my face, and I want to lose myself in its softness.
“Tell me it wasn’t a lie. Tell me you didn’t play me,” I beg into the softness of her hair.
My desperation weakens me.
It makes my pulse rage and my heart pound violently against my chest, simply because I want to know the truth.
But at the same time, I want to touch her.
So bad.
She turns to face me, and her breasts brush across my chest as she does. She looks up at me, her jaw set, her face tight, and her eyes are full of heat.
I can’t stand it.
So, I push her back against the door and slam my mouth to hers. I’m so worked up I don’t know how I’m feeling. All I know is need.
She moans into my mouth, and I’m powerless against my longing for her.
This woman is everything.
But I break off the kiss.
I want nothing more than to be inside her right now, but something tells me I need to tread carefully.
I suck in a breath to calm my emotions and brush my thumb across her cheek. She lifts her lashes, and I lose myself in the vibrant color of her eyes. “I know you have a lot of questions, but just for tonight, can we forget who we are and just enjoy being together?”
My need for her shimmers in the tight space between us.
“Please, you have to trust me…” she pleads.
My longing for her quickly drowns out the voices of doubt in my head. I can’t help myself. I want to trust her. “Just tell me you’re okay.”