I have to find my own stability. Have to find myself. I’ve never been on my own. If I stay, I’d just be doing the same thing I did with Richard. I’d be moving from one situation to the next. Putting the car in reverse, I back out of the drive and take a left on the main road, heading toward L.A. Tears fill my eyes, blurring the road in front of me, but I keep driving. I don’t know what I’ll find, but I have to try. I don’t want to be the woman who depends on a man for everything. I want my own money, my own place. I have to find my own way.
25
One Month Later
Monet
Pressing my thumb against the digital screen, I put in the order for a burger, fries, and a chocolate shake for my last customer of my shift. I managed to get a job at place a few miles away from The Seven Knights MC. It’s not technically in the city, but as I drove, the houses started to become more crowded and buildings got bigger. The red shiny restaurant called Eighty-Six Diner caught my eye, and I pulled in and asked for an application. They hired me on the spot because their waitress was a no-show for the second day in a row. Untying my apron, my feet ache from the eight hour shift. I’m ready to go home.
“Hey, girl, has it been busy?”
I snap my eyes to Roonie. Her red hair is bright and shiny today, pulled into a high ponytail. She sways her hips. Her thick sexy figure practically talks the customers out of their money before they even ask for a menu. She’s been the closest thing to a friend I’ve had in a while. The second night of working here, Roonie found me sleeping in my car and told me to come to her place. I became a roommate and after a few days, we talked about me helping with the rent, bills, and groceries, making it more of a permanent thing. This is what I’ve always wanted: to be on my own, have a best friend to talk to and live with. I have it all. I just don’t have him. I didn’t know I would miss him this much until he wasn’t around. He’s all I think about. I can’t help but wonder what life would be like to have such a strong person in it. He’s stubborn, just like me, and even a little damaged. He’s my twin flame.
Once whole but split into two souls. It’s said when the flames find each other, it will be challenging and near impossible to be put back together, but once it’s done, we’ll be indestructible.
* * *
“It comes in waves,” I reply. Leaning back on the register, we both look around the café.
“You going to see him today?” Like a knife to my chest, I exhale. Roonie knows about Godric, and every day since I told her about him, she asks if I’m going back to see him. He’s all I think about. Every time I hear a motorcycle, I rush to the windows to see if it’s him. It never is.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to see me.” I shouldn’t have left him like that. His brother had just died, and I walked out. He’s probably moved on, fucking everything in sight to get over his loss. I can’t go rushing back into the arms of a man who moves on that quickly.
“Well, you would know. Hey, when you go home, will you make sure Bats didn’t shit in the laundry? I was in a rush and tossed my clothes in the hamper and forgot to put it in the closet,” she says in her animated way, her hands waving about as if she’s showing me her long black nails. That’s just the way she is. Always using her hands when she talks.
“Yeah, I’ll check and put the clothes up.” Pushing off the counter, my sneakers squeak on the greasy floor as I stride to the back to clock out.
“See ya, Monet!” Bosco, the chef, waves from behind the grill.
“Later!” I wave back, pushing the back door open. The warm, summer night air brushes against my face as I make my way to my car. Climbing in, my chest hurts thinking about Godric. What am I waiting for? I should go see him. I have the job and the place, and I’m not happy because I don’t have him. Starting my car, I turn on the headlights and drive toward the clubhouse, my hands sweating and gripping the wheel as I overthink this reunion. I mean, what if he doesn’t want to see me?
Forty-five minutes later, I pull into the lot. Nervously biting my pinky nail, my eyes scan the motorcycles parked out front. It’s so dark, I can’t really tell if Godric’s is here.