Can You Handle It (Naughty Bedroom Collection)

“Hey there, Couch Potato.” A man dressed in a white blazer and khaki pants stepped into view. “Are you currently sitting at home feeling lonely and unwanted? Rejected and wallowing in ‘Woe is me?’ How about all the above?”

I was seconds away from throwing a pillow at the side of his head.

I felt seen, and I didn’t like it.

“If that sounds like you, and I’m pretty sure it does, it’s time for you to escape from your pitiful, sexless life, and join me in a place called Endless Paradise.”

The screen dissolved into a sprawling overhead view of sparkling blue pools and palm trees. Then sleek white bathtubs that perched on the ocean’s edge transitioned into hammocks that swayed in a gentle breeze.

“It’s time to come to a place where you can meet all-new people.” The man’s voice narrated mesmerizing shots of a wild waterfall next.

Seconds later, sexy men with envious abs and pretty women in stunning bikinis frolicked in the sand.

“You deserve one week where every indulgence is at your fingertips,” he said. “Singles only, no couples allowed. Take out your credit card right now to take advantage of this ‘Only on TV’ price. Join your future friends at Endless Paradise: The Rain Experience!”

He continued talking—tempting me with more compelling images, but I didn’t believe that a singles’ resort was my cup of tea.

At least, not right now.

The last thing I needed to do was—

“Ohhhhh fuck!” Chelsea cried out from her room, interrupting my train of thought. “Yes! Yes, Daddy! Fuck meeeee!”

I picked up my cell phone and booked a reservation for tomorrow.

The Rainmaker

Harlow

The following afternoon

“I packed five extra boxes of condoms into your suitcase.” Chelsea swerved her Jeep into the departures lane. “Just in case you find a guy you can’t stop fucking.”

“For the umpteenth time, I’m not going there to have sex.”

“Hence the words, ‘Just in case.’ Oh, and Tyler wants you to call him sometime next week,” she said. “I’ll remind you when you get back.”

“Call him about what?”

“I think to check on you. He’ll probably try to cheer you up with a Netflix binge or something.” She shrugged, putting the car in park. “Anyway, I need to talk to you about something super important before you leave me,” she said. “Can I confide in you?”

“Of course.” I nodded. “You can tell me everything.”

“Okay, well …” She let out a breath, and I braced myself for something severe.

She placed her hand on my shoulder. “For the past few weeks, Chad has been giving me the most amazing golden showers.”

“What?”

“Golden showers,” she said, smiling. “You know, peeing on me.”

“On second thought, no. No, you can’t tell me everything.”

“Who else can I tell about this, then?”

“Your journal. This is the type of shit that you write on pages that no one else will ever read. Now, on a normal note, do you want to grab a latte before I go through security?”

“At first, I thought it would be gross.” She didn’t follow the change of subject. “I said, you honestly think that urinating on me would be hot? Then I was like, is that why you’ve been drinking so much coffee lately?”

“Welp. I’ve changed my mind about the coffee.” I unbuckled my seatbelt. “I’ll go inside alone.”

“When I gave in and felt his hot stream coming over me—” She ignored my intrusion. “I felt like we were so much closer, so much more entwined. My eyes are now opened to a brand-new world of sexual possibilities.”

“Chelsea, please …” I tugged on the door handle, but it didn’t give. “Is the children’s safety lock activated on this or something?”

“It’s a power move for him, a way to make me submit by silently showing that he can do anything to my body and I’ll let him.”

“Don’t make me climb out the window.”

“I’m just sharing an experience with my ride-or-die.” She smiled. “I tried something on the taboo side, and I’ll never hate on another fetish before trying. I really love it, especially the way he did it this morning, you know?”

“I cannot stress enough how much I don’t want to know.”

I glanced at the ten-gallon water bottles she’d buckled into the backseat. I’d meant to ask what they were for the other day, but now I could clearly see.

“Is secret story-time over now?” I asked. “Can I return to not knowing that my best friend is a walking toilet?”

“Fine.” She laughed and finally stepped out of the car. Walking over to my side, she opened the door and helped me pull my luggage from the trunk.

“What’s the name of this resort again?” she asked.

“Endless Paradise.” I pulled out my printed confirmation. “It’s in the Florida Keys, I think. I bought it on a whim.”

“Oh.” She blinked a few times and smiled. “Well, then. Definitely let me know what you think about it when you get there.”