“Cael,” she said in a near whisper, and Caelan’s heart leaped in his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d called him by his nickname. Not since he was a young child at least. He turned to find her rising and moving around the desk toward him. He straightened his shoulders and lifted his head.
As she came to stand in front of him, he was surprised to find that she was actually a few inches shorter than him. When had that happened? She’d always been taller than him. But then, they hadn’t stood this close in…years.
She lightly grasped his shoulders in both of her hands. She was so small, so fragile to him. His brain rebelled in his head. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t matching up with his hundreds of memories of her. This couldn’t be the same woman who sat on the throne, stared down the stuffy old cabinet members, and declared what would be best for her kingdom. She was a will of iron, an unstoppable force. She was the protector of the Godstone, the voice of the dead gods, and the wielder of her power.
But the person in front of him wasn’t all that. There were threads of gray mixed with her sleek black hair piled on the back of her head. Wrinkles stretched out from the corners of her eyes and around her mouth. Pale-blue eyes stared at him, revealing worry and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. She looked…human. She was his mother.
He couldn’t remember the last time they’d faced each other like this, their stations in life stripped away. Part of him was wary, but a larger part longed for more of this. Away from the eyes of the world and all expectations. A chance to just talk to her as a person.
“Cael, be careful. I feel that things are changing, and I do not yet know all the players in this dangerous game. Be wary of any you trust. And remember that the fate of all of Thia rests on your shoulders.”
Anything that Caelan had been about to say became stuck in his throat. It wasn’t just the fate of Erya that he had to worry about, but all of the world?
Reaching up with his right hand, he covered hers, trying to not think about how cold her skin felt. “Don’t worry. I’ll have Eno watching over me and Rayne bossing me about. Even Drayce will stay out of trouble. I’ll be gone a few days at most. I’ll hear what Queen Noemi or her ambassadors have to say. As long as it doesn’t interfere with our current treaties, we’ll promise to help, and I’ll hand all formal negotiations over to you. I’ll be in my own bed in less than a week.”
The worry didn’t disappear from Amara’s pale-blue eyes, but she nodded and gave his shoulder a final squeeze before releasing him. “I know you will make Erya proud wherever you go. I’ve always been proud of you, my son. May the Goddess watch over you.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to remind his mother that dead gods didn’t do much of anything, but there was no point. Amara was the one who was directly linked to the Godstone. Maybe the old gods did speak to her. Caelan wouldn’t know. The old gods hadn’t said one word to him since he’d been born.
But all that snarkiness was lost under the weight of Amara’s words. She was proud of him. Never in her life had she uttered that to him. As much joy as he felt, he was also drowning in worry. Why did she look so worried? Why did she stare at him as if she were memorizing his face? Was it more than being fearful of his safety?
Hagen took a step forward and bowed deeply to Caelan. “Safe travels, Your Highness.”
Caelan stared at him for a moment. They were both acting strange, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was as though they knew something they weren’t telling him. But what? His mother wouldn’t actually sacrifice him in some political game. He was her only heir. The only protector of the Godstone besides her.
Why the hell couldn’t Rayne have been in there with him? If he voiced his suspicions to the man, Rayne would just accuse him of being paranoid. Maybe that was all it was. He was being sent to Caspagir while it was under attack. That was worrisome on its own.
Maybe he was being paranoid. Spending too much time around his mother always left him feeling like they all knew secrets they weren’t sharing with him.
In the end, he just gave Hagen a smirk. There was no point in demanding to know what was going on. Amara never revealed her secrets until she was ready, and now clearly wasn’t the time. “Thanks. Keep an eye on her. Don’t let her start any wars while I’m gone.”