I walk down the hallway to her bedroom, knocking on the door before letting myself in.
The curtains are drawn, and I’m guessing they have been since this morning. Her breakfast lays untouched by her bed. She hasn’t eaten a fucking thing.
My Sunshine lies in the bed, duvet pulled on top of her so I can barely make out her form.
“Rain,” I mutter, sitting down next to her. “Are you going to sleep all day?”
“Maybe,” she mutters, pushing a pillow against me. “Leave me alone.”
Normally I’d be pissed off with her talking to me this way, but this time, I’m genuinely fucking worried. This isn’t like her. She isn’t a bratty little bitch, she’s my obedient Sunshine. But not today. Today, her sorrows have pulled her under the surface, and she’s not coming up for air.
“Please let me help you, Sunshine.”
“I don’t want help.”
“But you’re writhing away. I need you with me. I need you to be strong.”
She turns to face me. She’s wearing a mask of pain and, for the first time, she lets me see just how much what Xander put her through has destroyed her. Shame burns me from the inside. I should have understood. I shouldn’t have questioned her. I should give her time to heal.
And yet I’m too much of a prick to walk away and leave her. I’m eager to make the pain better for her, even if she resists me.
“Just leave me alone,” she mutters, pulling a pillow over her head. “Just go, Heath.”
I fight with myself, not knowing what to do. My need for something in my system intensifies. It’ll be easier to forget Rain’s pain if I replace it with my own.
“Fine.” I pick myself up. She doesn’t move as I walk to the door, doesn’t call out and ask for me to stay. So I let myself out into the hallway, leaning against her door just in case she’ll change her mind.
She doesn’t.
Stomping down the hallway, I go into my office and find the last of my stash. I haven’t gotten more from our warehouses. I don’t want Liberato and Rain panicking again over me being an addict. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it.
And yet the guilt doesn’t go away as I plunge a syringe filled with clear liquid into my veins. It only gets progressively worse as the concoction makes its way through my system.
But soon enough, my vision turns cloudy and I’m able to turn off everything going on around me. The drugs help me forget. If only they could help Rain, too.
I’m surprised by my own adverse reaction to the thought. I don’t want her hooked on this shit. The moment you become a user, you know if you keep up with it; the drugs are what’s going to kill you. I don’t want that for Rain.
My lips form a thin line as a question appears in my mind, refusing to let me go until I think about it.
But do I want that for myself?
I know I don’t want to die, not with Rain back by my side. And yet I inhale some of the powder for good measure.
“Last time,” I mutter to myself as I take another injection and load it up. “Just until Rain gets better.”
Even I don’t believe my lies.
Chapter seven
Chapter 13
RAIN
I’m woken up by the sudden onslaught of light seeping in through the windows. Groaning, I toss and turn in my bed, unwilling to open my eyes while the intruder pulls the covers off my body. Pouting, I fold my arms over my chest. I sleep naked these days, and I feel the warm rays of sun warming up my body while Heath’s gaze drinks me in.
“I’ve had enough, Rain,” Heath gets out in a low growl. “Enough of this. You need to get up. You need to be with me, you need to remember your place.”
“How can you say that?” I demand, uncrossing my arms and pulling myself into a sitting position on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest. “Don’t you know everything I’ve been through?”
Heath looks glorious in the warm sunlight of the morning. The light glints from his charcoal eyes, making me memorize every line and curve of his body. It’s hard to deny him what he wants, because I want it too. But every time I think of being sexual, I’m instantly reminded of what Xander’s men did to me. And I can’t bring myself to go through with it.
“Rain, I’m well-aware of what that bastard put you through,” Heath gets out through gritted teeth. “But I can’t sit back and watch you throw your life away like this. You need to get better, not sinking into a deep, dark hole. I’m here for you. I want to help you. But you have to stop shutting me out. Today, we’re going to spend a normal day together?”