“It’s been such a long day,” Rain mutters. “Can we just sleep for a while together?”
“Of course, Sunshine.”
The sun has set outside, and the room is cast in shadows. I hold Rain to my chest as she drifts off to sleep. Seems like I’m exhausted too, as I follow closely behind. Plunged into a world of nightmares, I know even in my dreams that the withdrawals have already begun.
I wake up soaked, shooting up in the bed I’m sharing with Rain.
She shifts beside me, but keeps sleeping. I’m up in an instant, the sweat and shaking instantly reminding me of the promise I’d made to Rain. Fuck. If only I could take it back.
My heart pounds panic and adrenaline through my body, and I stumble from the bed. My vision is darkened, blurry. I can’t make out anything in the room. I stumble, barely noticing when Rain shoots up in the bed, worriedly calling out my name.
I don’t hear her. I don’t see her. Anything and everything is invisible to me right now. All I feel is the overwhelming need for... something. Anything I can get my hands on. A sniff of the powder, a needle plunged into my vein. I’ll do any-fucking-thing for a hit right now.
I growl, running my hands through my hair as I fall against the wall. Rain is next to me, desperate to help, but I push her away, deeply ashamed that she has to see me like this.
“Get away,” I hiss. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
She takes a step back and I fall to my knees, searching the floor like a man possessed. Maybe there’s some left over on the floor. Maybe I can find a little baggy, or another half-full needle. Maybe Rain hasn’t thrown it all away. I just need one hit. Just one last one to keep me going. I can fucking keep going, but only if I have one. Last. Fucking...
I roar. Something takes over me then, something primal and animalic. Rain isn’t Rain anymore. She’s the enemy. She’s the one who took the drugs, the one who hid them.
I launch myself at her.
My fingers encircle her throat and I choke her slowly, methodically. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I scream in horror. But my body, powered by pure rage, cannot be stopped.
“Where are the drugs?” I demand. “Where are the fucking drugs? I need the drugs. I fucking need them, you bitch!”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
Someone breaks my hold on Rain and I throw myself at him, but he knocks me out with a punch to the jaw. Stumbling back, some consciousness returns to me as I stare up at Rain’s sobbing form and L quietly leading her away.
He throws me one last look filled with distaste as they step out into the hallway.
“Look what you’ve fucking become, Heath,” L mutters. “You need help, hermano.”
“You need fucking help,” I snarl, weak from the punch and confused by the mixed signals my body and my head are sending me. “Piece of shit, take your hands off my goddamn woman!”
Rain cowers beneath him, visibly afraid of me.
“I’m keeping her safe,” Liberato spits out in disgust.
“From what, pendejo?”
He shakes his head, muttering, “From you.”
Chapter twelve
Chapter 18
Liberato leads me away from the bedroom. I’m still shaking, unable to comprehend what just happened in there. Heath wasn’t Heath anymore. The need he felt for those drugs changed him into somebody else. Somebody that wanted to hurt me.
“It’s better if you sleep in your own bedroom tonight,” Liberato mutters as we come to a stop in front of my old quarters. “Maybe lock the door, too.”
“Doesn’t Heath need me?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t trust him when he’s like this. He could hurt you. He already tried tonight.”
I nod, even though I don’t want to agree with him. Everything in me is screaming at me to stay with Heath, to make sure he’s okay. But I trust Liberato as well—after all, he knows Heath better than I do.
I let him walk back into my bedroom and make sure I’m safe. Once he leaves, I lock the door, but it’s only for show. Once I come to terms with what happened, I’m going back to see Heath. I can’t leave him alone, not now when he needs me the most. And I think I’m the only one who can save him from himself.
Sitting on my bed, I notice just how badly I’m shaking. What happened in the bedroom… Heath choking me... it really left its mark on me. Now I’m trembling, terrified of what could have happened. Heath is much stronger than me. If he decides I’m the enemy and wants to hurt me, there’s nothing I can do to stop him. And yet the urge to go back to his room is strong, pulling me firmly in his direction.