She taught me love. She taught me kindness. And now, she’s going to join both and teach me how to be a father.
Tentatively, I smile at the thought of a little toddler crawling around the Palacio. Maybe it’s what this place needs after all the tears and bloodshed of the past few months.
Maybe this baby will change everything.
Something unfurls within my chest, like a dying poppy flower after the winter unveiling a new leaf. Softly, quietly, it opens and blooms inside me, and for the first time in a decade, I allow myself to have one thing I’d given up on plenty of time before.
What a beautiful thing hope is.
Chapter seventeen
Epilogue
“I don’t want this to happen. I’m not ready.”
“Please, Rain. Be brave for me. Be brave for us all.”
I squeeze his hand and even though I know how hard I’m holding on, Heath doesn’t even wince. His eyes are glowing with excitement, and I can only wish mine would do the same. Instead, I’m overcome by fear, remembering the deal Heath and I made with Xavier.
This baby isn’t ours, not really. We’re working on borrowed time. It’s up to Xavier whether he ever lets us see the child again once he or she turns eighteen.
Another contraction hits hard, and I wail my anger at the world, clutching at Heath’s hand.
“Just a little longer,” he pleads with me. “Just a couple more pushes.”
The nurses and doctor change places and I know these are the last moments before I become a mom. Once this baby is out, my responsibility to protect it will be betrayed in eighteen years, when I have to hand over the child to its monstrous godfather.
It’s already been agreed Xavier will act as the child’s godfather for the christening, though I don’t want him anywhere near it when it happens. We made a deal—we’ll hand over the child in eighteen years and no sooner.
I scream as the pain becomes unbearable. I can’t hold this baby back any longer. It’s coming now.
With a push and a shriek, I fall on my back and cry out from the pain. Heath squeezes my hand while I shut my eyes, knowing it’s over. I hear the baby crying, but I don’t even have it in me to check.
“Congratulations,” the doctor smiles. “It’s a little girl.”
“Is she okay?” Heath manages, still holding onto my hand.
“Perfectly fine, it seems. Ten fingers and ten toes. We’ll weigh her and bring her back to you.”
I still can’t bring myself to look at the baby girl.
“You did it, Rain,” Heath whispers in the shell of my ear, nuzzling my neck.
I remain motionless, unable to reply.
“Would you like to hold her?” the doctor asks a moment later. Tears threaten to flow freely from my eyes. I want to turn him down. I don’t want to attach to the baby girl. But then Heath squeezes my palm and I look deep into his eyes. He’ nods at me with a light smile, encouraging me not to hold back.
“Okay,” I croak.
The nurse places a bundle wrapped in a soft pink blanket in my arms. I look down into the most beautiful little face in the world. She’s stopped crying, and she’s hungrily looking for my breast now to have her first meal. I allow her to latch on, letting out a soft cry when she breastfeeds.
Just from holding her for a few seconds, I know my bond with the baby girl is unbreakable. No matter what Xavier does, I’m going to be her mommy forever.
“Welcome to the world, baby girl,” Heath mutters, gently kissing the top of her head covered in silky golden hair. “Do we have a name yet, Sunshine?”
“Tallulah,” I smile, blinking away tears. “Her name is Tallulah Gunn.”
Today is the day of baby Tallulah’s christening. She’s only four months old, but as is customary in this part of the world, the christening will happen early.
Our first few months as a family have been blissful. Tallulah has brought on a change, a softness I didn’t know existed in our relationship. As much as I crave Heath’s cruel touch in the bedroom, I delight at seeing how caring and sweet he is with our daughter and me.
The christening passed without incidents, for which I’m grateful. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder these days, guiltily remembering my happiness comes at a price which baby Tallulah will have to pay.
We’re sitting in the garden of the Palacio with the few guests we’ve invited to celebrate with us. The Serpent’s den men are here, one of them with their wife, the others solo. Security surrounds us, guards watching out for any sign of danger. Not only is Tallulah the most loved baby, she’s also the best protected.
“Shall we open the presents?” I suggest, pointing to a stack of beautifully wrapped gifts while Heath holds baby Tallulah.