Gavin was right. Luca knew he was right. He just had to take all these old anxieties and put them aside. If the cancer came back, it came back. At least this time he would have Claire and the children to give him a reason to fight even harder.
He still didn’t think he could march up to her and get a warm reception, however. He needed to open with a grand gesture. Not just jewelry or another flashy gift. It had to be something that would mean more than anything to her.
There was nothing in the world more important to Claire than Eva. Luca knew what he had to do. Taking another burning sip of his drink, he reached for his phone and called his lawyer.
* * *
Claire climbed the stairs of her brownstone with a heavy heart and even heavier limbs. She wasn’t very far along in this pregnancy, but it was already wearing her out. That, combined with a return to her routine after a month away, left her thoroughly exhausted.
Yes, that was it. It wasn’t the crushing oppression of heartache that was slowing her down.
Opening the front door, she found Daisy and Eva playing on the floor in the living room. Her nanny immediately stood and went over to give Claire a hug. “Hey, Mama. How did the doctor’s appointment go?”
Claire reached into her purse and pulled out the roll of sonogram pictures. There wasn’t much to see, just a blurry little blob that looked something like a jelly bean. The first time she’d seen that image of Eva, her heart had nearly exploded with love and excitement. She and Jeff were finally going to be parents. This time the sight just made her sad. She would adore this baby, she had no doubt, but she couldn’t help but think that she was once again having a child without a father around to love it the way it deserved to be loved. Was a mother’s love enough? She hoped so.
Daisy snatched the photos out of her hand and gave a little squeal of excitement. “Congratulations. This is so exciting. I can’t believe after how hard you worked to have Eva that you could get pregnant so easily.”
Claire nodded absently, but she wasn’t really listening. For the past week and a half, she’d been almost sleepwalking through her days. She certainly wasn’t sleeping at night. She couldn’t concentrate. All that ran through her mind again and again were the horrible things Luca had said to her.
“So I was thinking if we coated Eva in some flour, we could pan fry her and she’d come out with a nice crispy crust.”
“Sounds good,” Claire said automatically.
“Claire!” Daisy shouted in consternation. “You’re not listening at all.”
“I am,” she argued.
“And what did you just agree to?”
Claire sighed and shook her head. “I have no idea.”
“Sit down,” Daisy demanded, pointing toward the couch.
She didn’t feel like arguing, so she did as she was told. Daisy sat beside her, Eva playing with soft blocks on the floor in front of them.
“Just a tip, you might not want to agree to anything while you’re in this state,” Daisy said. “Now tell me what’s going on? This isn’t plain ol’ pregnancy brain, is it?”
Claire opened her mouth to answer, but before she could say a word, the tears rushed to her eyes and all that came out was a strangled sob. Daisy hugged her to her chest, letting her get all the pain and heartache out of her system. It took several minutes and a soaked-through blouse, but eventually Claire was able to sit up, wipe her eyes and tell her sad tale.
“He doesn’t believe the baby is his. I don’t know how he could say that. I’ve spent the past month alone with him. Whose baby could it be?”
“I think he’ll come around,” Daisy said, holding her hand reassuringly. “Like you said, it sounds to me like he’s spent too many years thinking that it could never happen. To believe he’s the father means that everything he knows is wrong. If he’s thrown away the past ten years of his life, too afraid to fall in love and disappoint his wife, it’s got to be a serious blow. It’s easier to push you away with angry accusations than to face the fact that he was too chicken to find out if he was sterile all this time.”
Claire listened with a slow nod, but she wasn’t convinced that Luca would realize he was wrong. Luca was stubborn, and that same stubbornness might keep him from finding out the truth and admitting he was wrong. It might take a court mandated paternity test after the baby was born to convince him of the truth. At that point, he could apologize until he was blue in the face and it wouldn’t make a difference. She didn’t know if she could forgive him for how he’d treated her.