The Cat's Pajamas

From that great height, a murmur fell upon the small Indian, who nodded several times.

“He now proposes,” said the small Indian, “one last game. The chief is willing to gamble like a good sport and maybe lose the country.”

A trembling, as of a great earthquake, shook the senators. Smiles trembled on their lips. The president felt the need to faint but did not.

“One last game?” he moaned. “And if we lose again? What do we even have to offer?”

The small Indian chatted up along the length of great redwood flesh and an utterance responded.

“You give us France and Germany.”

“We couldn’t do that!” cried the president.

“Oh no?” said the great storm voice.

The president shrank two sizes within his suit.

“Also,” the shadow moved like winter above.

“Also?” piped the suddenly former president of the United States.

“The rules,” recited the small interpreter below. “If you lose, we keep the United States and you build casinos in all fifty states plus grade schools, high schools, and colleges throughout the Indian territories. Yes?”

The president of the United States nodded.

“And if you win,” the little man went on, “you get the states back, but the same things must happen: You build schools and casinos in all territories, even though you have won.”

“Incredible!” the president cried. “You can’t apply the same rules win or lose!”

Shadows whispered.

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”

The president swallowed and at last said, “Let’s begin.”

The great steam-shovel-size fingers of the owner of all fifty states’ Big Red Casinos moved out on the air. There was a deck of cards vised in the thick fingers.

“Deal,” a voice echoed in up-country.

The president found all of his limbs inert.

“Blackjack,” whispered the small assistant Indian. “Two cards each.”

At last, slowly, the president of the United States laid out the cards, facedown.

A voice rumbled above.

The little man said, “You first.”

The president picked up the cards, and a great smile widened on his face. He tried in vain to control his smile but was unable to do so.

He looked up at the huge Indian chief and said, “Now yours.”

Thunder sounded above.

The interpreter said, “First, let’s see your hand.”

The president of the United States turned his cards over. They totaled nineteen.