Lingerie Wars (Invertary 1)

She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from telling him that the whole town, including his wife Mandy, already knew he’d been at the game. Mandy used the time he was gone to get her hair done and buy some lingerie. As Billy’s mother well knew—she was the one who babysat.

“So, what are you doing?” she said instead.

“I’m making sure that your English guy doesn’t have any water in the morning. Or for the rest of the week.” He pointed at some valve thing in the wall. “This here is the thing you turn when you want to shut off the water to the house.”

“Does everyone have one of those?” Kirsty said as she studied it.

“Yes. They do.” There was a very silent “idiot” attached to the end of that sentence.

“And you’re doing what to it?”

“I’ve turned it off and I’m making sure it stays off. If he wants it fixed he’s going to need a blowtorch and some extra piping.”

“Fantastic.”

She thumped her old classmate on the back. She hadn’t been the one to instigate the illegal activity, but she sure as heck wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or whatever that stupid saying was.

“I don’t like this,” Billy

told her. “It’s probably illegal, but definitely childish.”

“Thanks for the reprimand. It isn’t your business at stake.”

“It will be if anyone finds out that I’m using my powers for evil and not for good.”

“He’s English,” she said, as though that excused all sorts of questionable behaviour.

“I also heard that he’s ex-army. Don’t those guys have muscles? Big muscles. And aren’t they trained to kill? I’m taking my life in my hands here. If it wasn’t for the fact that Mandy would nag me about the game, I wouldn’t be here. I don’t have a death wish.”

“Point taken,” Kirsty said. “Seriously, though, I doubt Lake is any threat to anyone. Sure he has muscles, but they don’t look anywhere near as big as Sylvester Stallone’s, and Stallone is an old guy. Plus, aren’t there all sorts of army guys? He might be one of the ones that drove trucks, or worked in the kitchen. I think you can breathe easy. I’m pretty sure your life isn’t under threat. I mean, who even knows you’re here?”

“I do,” said a voice behind her.

Kirsty and Billy froze.

“Want to come out here and tell me what’s going on?”

“Crap. It’s Caroline. Bloody hell.”

“I heard that,” Caroline snapped. “Watch your language, Billy.”

“Oh no, she knows it’s me. I’m out of here,” Billy hissed at Kirsty.

“I’m waiting,” Caroline told them.

“Are you done? I can stall,” Kirsty hissed.

“Done. You take the wicked witch, I’ll take the back door.”

With a sigh, Kirsty walked towards Caroline while Billy packed up his tools in a rush and ran for the back of the building.

“You’ve scared the life out of Billy,” she told her best friend. “Again.”

Caroline smiled primly.

“That’s what happens when you skulk.” She cocked her head to the side, making her shoulder-length, straw-coloured bob sway. “You’ve got colour in your cheeks. You must be up to no good.”

Kirsty smiled at her friend—the self-appointed morality police of Invertary.