But it took a lot more than that to win a war.
“I like that look on your face, boy,” Betty said as she tottered up beside him. Her head barely made it past his waist. “What are you planning now?”
“You’re the last person I’d tell. You’re a loose cannon.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“I can be a whole lot worse if you don’t include me in the fun.”
“Have you ever thought of getting therapy? I’m pretty sure that there’s something wrong in your head.”
“Ha!” His own personal Hobbit folded her arms and growled. “Therapy is for Americans with more money than sense. Do I look like I want to mine my childhood looking for scary beasties? There’s nothing wrong with my head that can’t be fixed with a bit of a challenge. I’ve been telling you since you arrived—I’m bored. Are you so thick that you can’t understand what I’m saying?”
Lake heaved a sigh.
“Why am I responsible for your fun? Why are you even hanging around me? What did I do to deserve this?”
“Now you sound like a namby-pamby bairn. Get a grip on yourself and do something manly. Heck, do something dangerous. But do something. Or I’ll have to fire the next shot in this war of yours. What kind of soldier are you anyway that a wee old woman has to fight your battles? It’s pathetic.”
“You ever heard of a sport called dwarf tossing?” He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head towards her.
She scowled.
“If you’re going to pick me up and throw me, at least aim for Kirsty’s shop.”
It was pointless. The woman was made of Teflon. Insults slid off her. His choices lay in committing her to some sort of asylum, or including her in his plans.
“Fine. We’ll meet this afternoon. Sort out a strategy. After we’ve got this stuff in place.”
She punched the air.
“Fandabbydozy,” she said. “That leaves enough time to go get some cakes. You can’t have a meeting without cakes.” She paused. “And Irn-Bru. You can’t have a meeting without Scotland’s other national drink.” She turned towards him with a haughty look. “Do you know that there isn’t a stain remover on the planet that will take out an Irn-Bru stain? Nothing will shift it. Isn’t that amazing?’
“Mindboggling. Makes me want to drink loads.”
She frowned again as she held out her hand.
“Give me money,” she demanded. “It’s your meeting. You’re paying.”
With a sigh, Lake reached for his wallet, briefly wondering if this was what all parents felt with unruly children.
“I’ll be back when the work’s done,” she said as the cash disappeared into the folds of her tartan tent. He assumed there was a pocket there somewhere.
With that, she hobbled up the road to the shop. He couldn’t help but notice the spring in her step.
Kirsty was feeling pretty good about herself. The women of Knit Or Die were true to their word and Lake had his hands full dealing with them, and that left Kirsty free to work on her website. She grinned widely at the screen in front of her. After much frustration and hard work, it was ready to go live. She called through to the shop for Magenta.
“Hey, what’s up?” Magenta said as she came to stand beside Kirsty’s desk.
“The website is going live,” Kirsty said with a grin. “Didn’t want you to miss it.”
“Excellent,” Magenta said.
Kirsty made a big deal out of pushing the enter key on her laptop. They waited.
“Is that it?” Magenta said.
“Feels like there should be fireworks, doesn’t it?”