Lingerie Wars (Invertary 1)

He shrugged.

“You can borrow some of mine.”

“The second-rate stuff you don’t want to use? No thank you.”

“What do you want me to do?” he said, sounding irritated. “I keep telling you—I didn’t do this.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“I bet you know who did,” she said.

They looked at each other.

“Betty,” Lake said.

Kirsty nodded.

“I’m going to kill her this time,” he said.

“I’ll help.”

Kirsty went to fetch her coat.

“I’m not telling you anything,” Betty said. “You can cart me off to jail, but these lips are sealed.”

Kirsty looked at Officer Donaldson hopefully. He sighed.

“I can’t put her in jail without any proof,” he said.

“Ha!” said Betty.

“I should have phoned the vicar. He would have been more use,” Kirsty grumbled.

“Feel free,” said the town’s entire police force.

“What exactly do you think that old fart will do?” Betty said defiantly. “If he isn’t fit for a round of slap and tickle, he isn’t going to help you here.”

Kirsty and Officer Donaldson made retching noises while Lake shook his head slightly.

“My ears are going to shrivel and fall off just from hearing that,” Kirsty said.

“Look,” Officer Donaldson said. “Unless you can get me some proof that Betty stole your underwear, there isn’t a lot I can do here.”

“Can’t you search the place?” Kirsty said.

“You search the place. I’ve got better things to do. Rip the house apart. It will only improve the decor.” Officer Donaldson sounded beyond fed up and Kirsty almost felt sorry for him.

“That’s rude,” Betty said from her state-of-the-art La-Z-Boy chair. “If anyone messes up my house, I’ll sue.”

The police officer looked towards heaven.

“You’ve got the wrong idea about Scottish law,” he told her. “You can’t sue about anything that takes your fancy. You’ve been watching too many American TV shows.” He turned to Kirsty and Lake. “Do what you have to,” he said. “But if you injure her, try to hide the evidence. That would be a boatload of paperwork that I don’t need. I’m already up to my ears with the Christmas Market.”

Lake nodded once at the officer.

“I’m out of here,” Donaldson said. “Some of the kids have been messing around at the Baxter farm. If I find out my sisters are involved, you’ll be missing two models for your show.” He ran his hand through his thick, dark hair before putting his hat back on. “I’m aging before my time,” he told them by way of goodbye.

When he was gone Kirsty turned to Betty.