Lingerie Wars (Invertary 1)

“We should have gagged her,” Lake said.

“It’s not too late,” Kirsty said.

They both looked at Betty, who had turned the searc

h into an afternoon’s entertainment. On the table beside her chair she had biscuits, tea, cake and a camera. She said she was documenting their abuse for the lawyer nephew. Lake wasn’t worried. She didn’t have a clue how to use the camera. She’d had it backwards on one occasion and nearly blinded herself with the flash.

“Come on, old lady,” he said. “Tell us where to find the underwear and we can move on from this.”

“Not on your nelly.”

“Maybe it’s with her friends or family?” Lake said to Kirsty, who stood shoulder to shoulder with him in the middle of the fairy cave living room.

“Betty doesn’t have family or friends,” Kirsty said.

Lake turned to Betty, who was trying to look her usual defiant self—but not before Lake saw the effect that statement had had on her. Damn if she didn’t look hurt and lonely. His shoulders slumped slightly.

“Look.” He turned to Kirsty. “Why don’t you go back to the shop and I’ll deal with this. She’s my responsibility.”

Betty visibly perked up.

“It’s my lingerie,” Kirsty said. “I can’t have a show without it.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Lake said. “Go. I’ll let you know what I find.”

There was a flicker of uncertainty in Kirsty’s eyes.

“Fine,” she said at last. “But don’t go easy on her.”

“I won’t.” And before Kirsty could stop him, he leaned in to kiss her.

He wanted her to know that the theft hadn’t changed a thing between them. The shop and whatever it was they were doing were separate issues.

“I wish my eyesight had gone years ago to save me from seeing these things,” Betty said.

Kirsty gave him a bashful little smile, scowled at Betty and left.

Lake looked at his underwear mascot and sighed. He was pretty sure that when you had kids you got them as a baby, and by the time you hit the difficult teenage years you were used to them. With Betty, he’d skipped all that and gained an unruly teenager that looked like Yoda. If he’d known that buying a shop for his sister also meant he bought Betty, he would have thought long and hard about it. Lake sat in one of the over-soft sofas that were designed to swallow you whole.

“What are we going to do about this?” he said.

“Nothing. I did what I had to.”

“You have to give her the underwear back.”

“No. I don’t.”

Lake was seriously close to losing his cool. In the army they’d called him “Lake Placid”, because nothing made him lose control. Twenty years of high-pressure situations paled in comparison to one morning stuck in Betty’s house.

“You need to tell me where it is.” He had to work at keeping his voice calm. “We need two lingerie shops in the show. That’s how the publicity was planned. If she doesn’t show, then we won’t benefit.”

Something flickered in Betty’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but he hoped it was a sign she was cracking.

“She needs to be out of the show, son,” Betty said. “If she wins the war, then our shop will shut and you’ll go away.”

Her lip quivered slightly and the wind went out of Lake.

“I’m going away anyway, Betty,” Lake told her. “This was never a permanent thing for me. I plan to sell the shop as soon as I can. I have a business opportunity waiting for me and if I don’t buy in by the new year, I lose my chance.”