1
* Rainne and Alastair *
“I have nothing to say to you.”
Alastair’s words sliced through the fragile courage Rainne had wrapped around herself. She looked down at her purple moon boots as she fought back the tears that prickled. The boots, which she’d thought were fun when she’d bought them, now looked stupid against the pristine white snow.
“I’d like the opportunity to explain.” Rainne looked back up at him.
He’d bulked out in the past three years, matured into his size by adding muscle. He was bigger, harder, colder. Yet there were still touches of the man she’d known—hair that flopped onto his forehead, sinfully lush lips that begged to be nibbled and sharp, intelligent eyes that missed nothing.
“I don’t need explanations, Rainne.” He folded his arms over his wide chest, blocking the doorway to the old abandoned church. “It was a long time ago. We both got on with our lives.” He glanced behind him into the brightly lit interior. “I need to get back to work.”
There was scaffolding around the building and a sign saying it was being renovated. Invertary was going to get its first ever spa. It wasn’t where she’d expected to find Alastair. She’d gone to his workplace first, the fishing tackle shop Alastair owned with his father, but there had been a sign on the door saying they were closed due to bad fishing weather. It said in case of an emergency, go to the old church. She wasn’t sure what constituted a fishing emergency, but the sign led her to Alastair.
“You’re doing building work now?” Rainne said, trying to buy a minute more of his time with inane small talk. It was pathetic. She was pathetic.
“Helping out a friend.”
They stood in awkward, heavy silence.
“Can we talk, Alastair, please?” Yeah, she had no problem begging. Pride wasn’t something she deserved. “I’m really sorry about what happened and want to explain.”
He shook his head. “You’ve had three years to explain. You could have taken the chance when I found you in Glasgow the week after you ran away. As I remember it, you wouldn’t even open your door to me.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Look, we both know you’re only here because Lake’s getting married in the morning. It’s best for everyone if you just enjoy your brother’s wedding and forget about the past. I have. It’s over. It’s done. You want absolution, you’ve got it. You can carry on with your life guilt free. You were right; I was too young. I jumped in too fast and too hard. Don’t worry, I’m all grown up now and I won’t make the same mistake again.”
His golden brown eyes stared right through her. His face was blank. He was utterly closed off to her.
“We done here?” he said.
She flinched at his words. Were they done? Yes, it seemed so. Rainne wanted to curl in on herself, but she didn’t. She wasn’t that person anymore. Sure, she’d never be massively courageous, but she’d worked hard to stop cowering and hiding at the first sign of conflict. Alastair wasn’t the only one who’d grown up.
“Yes. Yes, it seems like we’re well and truly done.” She wrapped her arms around her padded, down-filled coat and hugged herself. She took a deep, shaky breath and looked up at the only man she’d ever loved. “I understand. I won’t bother you again. But I want to let you know I’m sorry for how I behaved. I was lost, inside myself.” She fought the tremble in her bottom lip and raised her chin. “I waited too long to come back to you, to see if it was possible for us to try again. I thought about it every day but I was afraid. It took Kirsty and Lake’s wedding to force my hand.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “I want you to know that I still love you. I’ve only ever loved you.”
She gave him a tremulous smile. “That’s it, I guess.” She fought tears to put on a brave front, while Alastair stared at her, stony-faced and silent. “Okay, well, I’d better get over to the castle. It’s the hen party tonight.” She was rambling. She bit her tongue to stop herself and nodded. “Okay,” she said again. “I should go. Have a good life, Alastair.”
She turned on her heels and walked back to her tiny, ancient Ford Fiesta. The light from the church’s open doorway made the snow glow around her. She picked her way carefully, her vision blurred from tears that hadn’t yet managed to fall. Slowly, the glow around her disappeared and she heard the door click shut behind her.
One tiny sob escaped as she unlocked her car. She climbed inside, rested her forehead on the steering wheel and wept silently. She’d gotten exactly what she deserved, and yet, even knowing that, it still shredded her heart.
???
“That was harsh.” Jodie Miller leaned against the hall wall, completely unashamed of eavesdropping.
Alastair had met Jodie through her brother Deke, who was a keen fisherman. It was an a
cquaintance he deeply regretted. The woman loved to poke her nose in where it didn’t belong.
“It’s none of your business, Jodie.” Alastair walked past her and into the kitchen, where he was clearing up the mess he’d made fitting cabinets all afternoon.
Of course, Jodie didn’t listen. “That girl laid her heart at your feet and you stomped all over it. I didn’t think you were that callous.”
Alastair frowned at her. “You know nothing about what went on between us. You don’t get an opinion.”
She feigned injury, clasped a hand to her chest and swayed backwards. “I’m wounded. Now you’re being harsh with me too. Touchy, touchy Alastair. Did she catch you at the wrong time of the month? Are you man-struating?”
“You know it’s at times like these that I totally get why you’re divorced.”
The brunette narrowed her eyes and gave him what he’d come to think of as her Wolverine glare. “We don’t talk about that.”
“But it’s okay to talk about my past relationships?”
“You’re a baby. How many relationships are we talking about? One? Two? And I’m not counting the one with your mummy. You broke that girl’s heart on my doorstep, which makes it my business. Don’t you think you should man up and let her talk to you? I mean, what harm will it do? Will it hurt your poor, delicate feelings?” She batted her eyelashes and faked a sympathetic pout.
“One of these days,” Alastair said as he packed up his toolbox, “that mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble.”
“I’ve been telling her that for years.” Deke, Jodie’s younger brother, sauntered into the kitchen. “Those cabinets look great. Thanks for helping out.”
Alastair just nodded. It was no big deal. Helping out was what people in Invertary did. Some day he would need a hand from a neighbour, or friend, and Deke would step up. It was the way things worked in the Highlands.
Deke ran his hand over the surface of the central island. It was a very specific type of marble, one the spa’s chef had insisted on. Alastair had expected him to install a standard stainless steel professional kitchen, but Deke wanted marble, wood and brushed steel. It looked good, warm, welcoming. Which was a big plus, as the kitchen was open to the dining area and the guests would be able to watch the guy work. Alastair hoped he didn’t go all Gordon Ramsay on them. That would not make for a pleasant dining experience.
“Alastair just rejected a girl who poured her heart out to him on our doorstep. She declared her love and he sent her out into the snow, probably in tears. Most likely to her doom. It was nasty. Totally heartless.” Jodie obviously wasn’t going to let the topic go.
“And I care why?” Deke looked every bit as thrilled with the conversation as Alastair felt.
“Because,” Jodie said slowly, like they were both on the simple side, “he shouldn’t have let her go.”