Calamity Jena (Invertary 4)

“We’ve seen it all now anyway.”

“Good point. I’ll take them off. That’s easier.”

Claire tried to get the shorts off over his shoes, but his huge freaking feet made it impossible. In the end, she took off his shoes too. As she lifted his legs, she couldn’t help but notice that his backside had been scraped to hell from being dragged along the ground.

As she yanked his shorts off, there was a flash. She snapped her head up to find Megan holding her phone.

“Tell me you didn’t take a picture.”

Megan grinned. “Trust me. You’ll appreciate it later.” She put the phone back in her pocket.

They worked together to get him sitting upright at the open door.

Claire scrambled onto the driver’s seat. “I’ll put my arms under his and you wrap yours around his waist.”

“I’m not sure I like that idea. That’s leaving me a little too close to his penis.”

“Will you stop saying penis? It’s freaking me out. I don’t want to talk about his privates.”

“But it’s okay to stare at it?”

Claire clenched her jaw and counted to ten. “Just get on with it. We need to get him to the doctor. Now isn’t the time to freak out about his privates.”

“Fine,” Megan grumbled. “But I’m not happy about this.” She wrapped her arms around his waist.

Claire put her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his body. The heat coming from him was distracting, and even through the heavy smell of wet grass he still had a musky scent that was all man.

“On three,” Megan said. “One, two, three.”

They yanked hard. He flew upwards. His head crashed into the top of the doorframe.

“Oh no, did we kill him this time?” Megan wailed.

With a shaky hand, Claire checked his pulse. “No. He’s okay.” I hope.

Claire climbed into the back to hold his head, while Megan folded his legs into the tiny car. Megan snapped the belt into place. She went to shut the door, but changed her mind at the last minute. She pulled out her camera and snapped another picture. With a grin, she slammed the door shut, ran around the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. “All things considered, I thought that went quite well,” she said. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled tissue. With care, she smoothed it out and threw it into the stranger’s lap. “I can’t drive with his penis winking at me.” With that, she put the car in gear.

It didn’t take long to get to the doctor’s house, which also doubled as his practice rooms. Doc Murray was in his forties, fit and in possession of a wheelchair—so they didn’t have to drag their victim to the door. He took one look at the patch-up job the twins had done on the stranger’s head and burst out laughing.

“Priceless.” He wiped his eyes. “Is that tampons under the tights? I’ve got to wake up Janice and show her this.”

“How about you fix his head first?” Claire snapped.

Five minutes later the guy was in the examination room while the sisters paced outside the door.

“Okay,” Doctor Murray said as he came into the room. “He’s going to be fine. Blood loss and mild concussion. I’ll keep him here overnight to make sure he’s okay. I’ll call when he’s up and around. There was no ID so I don’t know who to contact about him, but I’ll call the pub. If he’s visiting town, he might be staying there. Dougal will know if he is. The guy is pretty distinctive—his description should be enough.”

“Can we see him?” Claire asked. “Is there anything we can do?”

He shook his head. “He’s still out cold. It happens that way with some people.” He gave them a sly grin. “If you know where his underwear and shoes are, that’d be handy.”

Claire felt her cheeks burn. “I’ll get them from the car.”

“Mm.” The doc eyed them. “An explanation would be good too. I can’t figure out why you took off his trousers when it was his head that was injured.”

“I can do better than explain,” Megan said. “I have pictures.” She dug out her phone.

With a groan, Claire went to fetch the big guy’s clothes.