Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

“It wouldn’t be a hardship. I’m easy to be around. Ask anyone.”

She looked at Mitch.

“It’s true. You get to live in a castle, and if you can deal with whatever mad idea he has going next, then he’s easy to live with.”

Caroline’s brow wrinkled in confusion. It was cute.

“Is this like a job position? You’d pay me to live with you and have your children? Are we talking something Michael Jackson would have done?”

Josh almost laughed, but she was deadly serious.

“We’re talking about a marriage. An equal partnership. Everything I have will be yours, and vice versa. We’ll make decisions together and get to know each other as we grow old. It’s simple. It’s how marriage used to be. People have been doing this for centuries. It isn’t a big deal. Don’t overthink it. It’ll be great. Instead, focus on all the fun we’ll have down the years.”

“But I don’t know you. I don’t know anything about you. Other than you sing Sinatra songs and middle-aged women throw underwear at you.”

“I don’t just sing Sinatra,” Josh informed her. “And there’s nothing I can do about the underwear. Believe me, I’ve tried. Who knows what goes through a woman’s head that makes her think I want her used nylon underpants.”

Caroline blinked several times.

“She wants to know more about you,” Mitch said helpfully. “Not the underpants.”

“Sure.” Josh nodded. “What do you want to know? Ask away.”

She seemed blank. Her gaze darted about the room as she searched for something to say. Josh took pity on her.

“Fine,” he said when no questions were forthcoming. “I come from a decent family. My dad is Scottish, my mom is American. They met in Atlantic City when my dad was on shore leave from the merchant navy. They were married fast and settled in Atlantic City, where they ran a miniature golf course together. I had a normal childhood. Wasn’t brilliant in school and wasn’t dumb either; mainly I just wanted to sing. I started doing gigs when I was thirteen, then as soon as I was legal I worked the clubs. I got my first big break playing Caesars. Apart from that, I don’t have any brothers or sisters, and this idiot”—he pointed at Mitch—“has been my best friend since I was six. What else is there to know?”

She took a deep breath. “Any history of mental illness?”

“You mean me?” Josh pointed at himself. He couldn’t hold in a laugh, the question was so ludicrous.

“Don’t worry,” Mitch said. “I know where you’re going with this. Unfortunately, he’s sane. We have the paperwork to prove it.”

She turned back to Josh, who was trying his hardest to appear serious and sane.

“Are you dying and desperate to reproduce before you go?”

“What? No!”

Caroline’s green eyes stared at him, while she pursed her luscious pink lips. His eyes wandered over her delicate cheekbones down to the beauty spot on the curve of her chin. That spot was begging to be kissed.

“You’re homosexual, aren’t you?”

Mitch spat coffee all over the carpet.

“No,” Josh told her. “I’m not gay. Not even remotely.”

Mitch was struggling to hold in his laughter, which wasn’t helping.

“Don’t you need to be somewhere else?” Josh asked him.

“No way.” Mitch grinned with delight. “I’m not missing this.

“Look,” Josh said. “I’m offering you everything I have. You won’t regret this—trust me, I’ll make sure you’re happy.”

“You don’t know that. You can’t promise something like that.”

“Yes. I can and I will. You’ll be so damn happy you won’t know what to do with yourself.”