Goody Two Shoes (Invertary 2)

A moment later, his mother was on the other phone. Josh grinned over her endless questions about his health. This was what he wanted: exactly the kind of comfortable relationship his parents had. Something that was stable and built on strong foundations, not on hormones. He glared at Mitch. Like he was going to take advice from a guy whose social life was dead and whose last serious relationship was in high school.

“I’ve got news.” Josh squeezed the words in when his mother paused for breath. There was silence. He chuckled. “Don’t worry, it’s good.”

“Do you want to spit it out, son?” his dad said. “Or do we have to guess?”

Josh took a deep breath. “I’m getting married.”

More silence.

“We didn’t know you were dating anyone.” His mother sounded confused.

“It’s been a fast process. I haven’t known her long, but you’re going to love her. We’re getting married in a few weeks.” He checked the calendar stuck to the fridge. “Mid-August. In Scotland.”

There was silence.

“Hello?” Josh called.

“You got a girl pregnant, didn’t you?” His mother’s tone oozed disappointment.

“You better not have,” his father threatened—like he could influence the situation in some way. Josh almost laughed.

“I didn’t get anyone pregnant.” How was it possible he was thirty-five and his parents still made him feel like a teenager?

“I don’t understand,” his mother said. “Was it love at first sight?”

“Not exactly,” Josh hedged.

“If there’s no baby on the way, then why the rush?” his father said. “Marriage isn’t something you jump into quickly.”

“You two did,” Josh pointed out.

“Those were different circumstances,” his father said.

“Yeah, but you don’t regret it,” Josh said.

More silence. He heard his mother take a deep breath.

“What’s she like?” his mother said at the same time as his father said, “How long have you known her?”

Josh answered his mother. “She’s great—she’s sensible and sweet and really organised.”

He could almost hear their stunned expressions.

“She’s not like your usual girlfriends,” his mother said anxiously.

“And that’s a good thing, right?”

“How long have you known her?” his dad asked again.

Josh ignored him. “I’ll send you some plane tickets for the wedding. It’s going to be great.”

“How long have you known her, son?” His dad used the voice that used to scare him witless as a kid.

But he wasn’t a kid any longer. He glanced at the clock. “About an hour.”

“What the hell?” his father barked in his ear.

“Well, great. Good talk,” Josh said. “I’ll see you both at the wedding.” He doubted they could hear him. “I’ll call another time.” He hung up.