She patted her new cropped hair. It feathered over one eye and curved around to the base of her skull. It was young, it was chic and for the first time in forty years it was her natural colour—or as close as she could remember her natural colour to be. It was a warm honey shade, too dark to be blond but too light to be brown. She liked it. A lot.
“I liked your hair better the way it was,” a voice said from the TV room.
Helen spun to find Andrew standing in the doorway.
“I don’t care what you think.”
“I don’t know who you are anymore.”
Helen scoffed. “You haven’t known me for years. And I don’t understand why it’s bothering you now. As soon as we’ve told Josh all about the divorce, we’ll go our separate ways and you won’t have to puzzle over me any more.”
As usual, he didn’t say anything. Helen made herself shrug like she didn’t care, and continued to walk up the stairs.
“It’s just…”
Helen looked down at him. “Just what?”
He thrust his hands into his pockets and scowled. Helen waited longer than she probably should have for him to make up his mind to talk. At last she shook her head. “I’m going to bed.”
She was done waiting for Andrew to speak. She was starting afresh and she didn’t need his permission to do it. She turned at the top of the stairs, ready to climb the next flight.
“I never meant to hurt you.” Andrew’s voice floated up to her.
Helen stopped dead. Her heart thumped in her chest. “You should have thought of that when you started to shut me out.”
Although she couldn’t see him, she could imagine how uncomfortable he felt. Good. It was time he felt it too.
“I don’t know what to do.” He sounded lost.
Helen let out a deep breath. She walked back down enough
of the stairs to see him. “About what?”
He looked her in the eye, the way he used to do. She felt his gaze zing straight through her body to her toes. She staggered back a step from the shock of it.
“Us. I don’t know what to do about us.”
She drew a sharp breath. “There is no us. That died a long time ago.”
There was silence. She turned back to the stairs.
“What if it isn’t dead for me?”
She closed her eyes briefly. Not now. Not when she’d let go of the man. She looked down at him and felt pity. But she didn’t feel any urge to throw herself back into a life of silence and dread.
“It’s dead for me. I’m tired of living in silence and tired of being invisible.”
“I can fix this.” She heard some of the same stubborn streak she’d once loved in him.
“Can you?” Helen turned away from him and dragged herself up the stairs to bed.
She was starting a new life. She was becoming a new person. And it didn’t matter how much Andrew protested, there was one thing she was certain of—he didn’t want to take the journey with her.
CHAPTER TEN
By Sunday afternoon, Josh was convinced Caroline was avoiding him. He’d tried calling but couldn’t pin her down. He was fed up with being ignored. It was time to track his reluctant fiancée down. After trying her house, where there was no answer, Josh worked his way down through town asking people if they’d seen Caroline. It was no surprise that everybody knew exactly who he was talking about. But no one had seen her. When he reached the pub at the bottom of the high street, he found Dougal behind the bar.
“I’m looking for Caroline.” Josh ordered a Coke and a burger. Might as well kill two birds.